#gbbaha

On the July 14, 2013 episode of Goin Bulilit:

- What's OOH? What's EEW? It's on OOH! EEW!

- Baha gags

- Meet Motorcycle Man, a superhero who hates rain.

- Tanong ko lang, Bakit may nalulunod na pusa sa baha?

- Goin Bulilit music video of Buko

- D3 Detergent Bar

- Tanong ko lang...Bakit ang damit na naaarawan, mabango?

- Is there someone here to help?

- Tanong ko lang. Ano kaya ang epektib na rain dance?

- The forgetful man...

- Ready Get Set Goin!

Let's Do The News! (July 14, 2013)

JM: And now, the news and it seems that we're in the sea of disappointed faces because...um...what just happened to them? I wonder why.

JC: Well, James. I tell you why is this happened. Maybe they've watched last night's....um...

RH: Gravity Falls? It's the one where Dipper, Mabel, and Soos chasing down some kind of...um...demon summoned by the show's main villain, Lil Gideon, through Stan's memories.

JC: I was gonna said that but...Oh! No wonder I'd expect a sea of disappointed faces from the fans when they caught up the part where...um...Anyway, Richard, about that demon that summoned to hunt down the secret, I was just wondering that it kinda looks like the...um...some kind of cult-looking triangle that you'd expect on the US Dollar bill.

JM: Or perhaps, it kinda looked like the cult conspiracy known as the Illuminati.

(audience laughing)

JM: If you were the kind of people who read one of Dan Brown's novels, then you'd probably known what an Illuminati is or by watching a movie called Angels and Demons. Anyway, the Illuminati-looking...spirit we just saw...

RH: Uh, James, actually, that spirit's named Cipher. Bill Cipher. The spirit that was summoned by that little jerk from the mystery book in order to track down the deed to the shack, much like what SpongeBob's Plankton do when it comes to steal the secret formula. Sounds familiar?

(audience laughing)

RH: Anyway, later on, on the showdown between the guys vs. Bill Cipher, our heroes just thrown everything they've got to stop him until he quits but they've warned them about a prophecy's going to happen.

JC: What is it?

RH: (imitates River Song) Spoilers.

(Audience laughing)

JC: Anyway, after the battle, there's the part that caused the a sea of disappointed faces from the fans. It's the one that Lil Gideon has the upper hand because he's got the deed and obliterate the Mystery Shack once and for all. Pity. So, what will happen on part two?

JM: Uh. Jeremy. Um...(whispers)

JC: (bleep)!

(audience laughing)

JM: I said some other week because next week. It's going to be pre-empted (I think) by some new DCOM titled Teen Beach Movie, the one with the Aussie-born Maia Mitchell and the dude who played Austin from the TV sitcom Austin and Ally, Ross Lynch.

JC: Wait. Maia Mitchell? Isn't she the one who guested on the Phineas and Ferb Musical Cliptastic Countdown special a few weeks ago?

JM: Yes. Yes she was. Anyway, about that new DCOM, due this Friday, it's about bikers vs. surfers in the beach. Well, catch this summer treat on Friday, okay? Save the date.

(cheers and applause)

JM: Anyway, let's talk a typical food what poor Filipinos eat. For three decades, galunggong or round scad was the typical food poor Filipino families eat because of its pricing and it became an indication about how poor the Philippine economy was from the Cory Aquino period. Now, it seems that galunggong is no longer the poor Filipino's fish anymore because what I just heard that thanks to climate change and the politics, prices for galunggong rose from P59.8 per kilo in 2003 to P107.7 per kilo last year, according to the National Statistical Coordination Board (NSCB).

JC: So, which means, what I found from the data from the NSCB that the poor Filipino's fish was now...wait a minute...it's "Tilapia" or St. Peter's fish because of its pricing retailing for P96 a kilo last year, likewise up from P59 in 2003. But even though Tilapia is cheaper than galunggong, I think it's still delicious when it's fried. Mmmm....fried tilapia.

(audience laughing)

JM: Don't forget, even though Tilapia is now a poor Filipino's fish, the undisputed poor Filipino's meal of all time was...pancit canton because of its 8 peso pricing or more. I learned that from the Word Of The Lourd article. The More You Know.

JC: Yeah. The More You Know, James. The More You Know.

(audience laughing)

JC: Okay, now while we're sticking in the Philippines. Does everyone heard about the MMDA's proposed new color coding scheme that will ban your car twice a week?

(audience murmuring)

JC: Anyway, what the MMDA said this is a proposal that would keep it off the road twice a week. Based on the reports I saw, vehicles with plate numbers ending in the following digits will be banned from the metro's streets on the following days:

1, 2, 3, 4 on Mondays;

5, 6, 7, 8 on Tuesdays;

9, 0, 1, 2 on Wednesdays;

3, 4, 5, 6 on Thursdays; and

7, 8, 9, 0 on Fridays.

RH: Wait, what? Twice a week? But why?

JC: Beats me. Mr. Francis Tolentino said that they're adopting "what is being implemented in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil" in reference to the proposed adjustment to the number-coding scheme, or the Unified Vehicular Volume Reduction Program as it is officially known. I don't know. Does Rio had that kind of color coding?

(audience murmuring)

JM: I dunno!

(audience laughing)

JC: Anyway, twice a week? What a total pain in the (bleep)! Why is the MMDA trying to implement such schemes that was made to lessen the traffic but sadly it keeps getting worse? Don't you know that it's those big buses and trucks carrying cargos are causing all this?

(audience laughing)

JM: Uh...

JC: Come on. This isn't solving anything about banning our cars on the road twice a week. It's gonna be...

(BABBLE ALERT)

JM: What was that?

JC: I don't know. I got a message from my smartphone. BABBLE ALERT if you know what I mean? Let's see...hmmm....hmmm...hmmm....oh...

JM: What is it?

JC: Says here that cops in Vancouver, Canada, confirmed that actor Cory Monteith from Glee found dead earlier at the Fairmont Pacific Rim Hotel. He's the dude who played Finn Hudson on Glee when the series aired on FOX four years ago.

RH: Oh...Too bad...

JC: Yeah right. And that's the end of the news. Let's take a look at what the Brits came up on Goodwood.

JM: Yes indeed and let's go first to Bentley with this...

2014 Bentley Continental GT3 Racecar

RH: Yeah. What it is is a track-only version of the Bentley Continental GT, called the Continental GT3. Since this is a race-only version, you can't use it to go for a trip to a Monte Carlo casino, unless you are in the Monaco racetrack or any other racetrack you know.

(audience laughing)

RH: Anyway, it has a 4.0L V8 engine which develops 600HP of power while fitting most of the regulated racing peripherals suitable for GT3 racing purposes. It's rear-wheel drive, has a carbon fiber propshaft, LSD, hydraulic steering, double wishbones, Brembo brakes, anything that makes the Continental GT3 racer a purebred British racing machine that echoes Bentley's commitment for motorsport.

Škoda Octavia (Typ 5E) RS

2014 Skoda Octavia RS and 2014 Skoda Octavia Combi RS

Once again, I'm disrespecting another high-performance version of an everyday car and this time it's the turn of the hot version of the third-generation Skoda Octavia. RS or vRS, whatever you call it, returns for the all new Skoda Octavia and what I'm unaware is that Skoda claims that this new model is the most powerful Octavia in the world (*at this moment in time). Hmmm... The most powerful Octavia in the world, huh? I'm not so sure if this kind of superlative makes sense and to find out, I have to dissect the vRS' potentials one by one by one.

Starting first on how it behaves or misbehaves in a mindless kind of way. Okay, while Skoda says this is the ultimate version of the new Octavia, which is nothing more of a Volkswagen Golf for the elder gentlemen, there are two kinds of engines available for the new Octavia RS. One is a turbocharged two-litre petrol engine and the other one is a two-litre diesel engine which doesn't make any sense for this superlative.

2014 Skoda Octavia RS

First of all, the 2.0L TSi engine, that's what we're focusing at, develops 220HP of power and when mated with a six-speed manual, it takes 0-100kph in 6.8 seconds, that's a 0.4 second improvement over the previous model and with the 248kph flat out speed, it's faster as well. No wonder I was agreeing to this kind of superlative though. Hmmm...This is the most powerful Octavia ever made, I had to be careful not to let my brain explode...

So, what about the diesel version? Well, for the downside, you'll sacrifice power over fuel economy because this diesel engine develops 184HP of power, 0-100kph in 8.1 seconds, 232kph flat out speed, and 119g/km of CO2 emissions, which some say it's a 19% improvement over the old model.

At first glance, I thought I was going to disrespect this machine but it wasn't worth it. This machine really loves to play silly tricks on its sleeves and driving one of these feels like you are in a one way trip to Hallucination-ville. Or perhaps, the way it behaves feels like you've been running through an olympic-sized pool...filled with custard. Whoops. Just saying the old "walk through a pool full of custard" stuff. Where did I heard that from?

2014 Skoda Octavia Combi RS

Anyway, while this is like running through a pool full of custard, it's still a Czechoslovakian sub machine-gun disguised as a laptop. You'd never know what will hit you next but thanks to all those character-building traits, the Octavia RS is made for the mad, the bad, and the downright stupid. Whether if you were in the saloon version, which costs 619,900 Kč, or in the station wagon version, the Combi, which costs 654,900 Kč, the choice of having either a 2.0L petrol or a 2.0L diesel, mated with either a 6-speed manual or a 6-speed double clutch AT, it's still one of the best Skodas to have since the Fabia.

2014 Skoda Octavia RS interior

So, after driving this, I had to realize which is funnier than driving the Octavia RS. Is it hot chicks blowing too much caravans? Blokes peeing on a wounded man on the street? Putting a CD on a microwave? I don't know but this isn't all brainy stuff because driving the Octavia RS will give drivers the same feelings you'd expect on the ones I'd mentioned. Even though it has the best of both worlds, your desire to abuse this in the name of science remains inevitable.

Thank you Skoda, and thanks for dropping by.

Photo: Skoda Auto

What's in our Car Town garage today? (July 14, 2013)

What's in our Car Town garage today?

1981 Volkswagen DamperVan

In the Top Gear Car Boats challenge, Richard Hammond chose a 1981 Volkswagen T25 for the basis of converting this second-hand minibus into a boat, which is the basis for the challenged. The campervan has turned into a DamperVan but just at the start of the challenge, Hammond's DamperVan got submerged just before he had a chance to move!

1981 Volkswagen Dampervan

2012 Subaru XV Crosstrek

The XV was designed to be a sport utility crossover variant of the Subaru Impreza and shortly after the Subaru Impreza's 2011 full model change, the XV made its debut at the 2012 New York International Auto Show and slot below the Legacy-based Subaru Outback. It has Subaru's newly-developed FB20 engine developing 150PS of power and 196Nm of torque, while mated with Subaru's Lineartronic CVT. The Symmetrical AWD makes the Subaru XV travel wherever it goes, making it a perfect adventure buddy.

2012 Subaru XV Crosstrek

1951 Hudson Hornet

The fabulous Hudson Hornet was famed for setting new records in stock car racing of the era because it raked 40 out of 48 wins thanks to itc 308ci L6 "Twin-H" power engine, making the Hudson brand well known as an innovator and race champion. If that wasn't set you off, the Hornet gained a role as Doc Hudson from the Disney-Pixar animated movie, Cars, which was voiced by the late actor Paul Neuman.

1951 Hudson Hornet

"More time for you"

On the July 12, 2013 episode of Bubble Gang...

- Audition gags

- Are you copycat-ing me, you jerk?!

- In My Husband's Driver; is Vench's dark secret revealed by Laley? What would Irik do?

- The arrogant Aling Mary returns to leave everyone in the line complaining!

Aling Mary

- They're comparing how people do when watching TV.

- Bubble Gang does Champion Infinity by spoofing this commercial as JUMP YON INFINITY! More time for you.

Bubble Gang does Champion Infinity

- Brod Pete and pals are back for more ANG BAGONG DATING DOON where all of your questions answered by all means necessary.

Ang Bagong Dating Doon

1) Housing Loan - Kung inaakala mo, ang pag-ibig mo'y magbabago. Itaga mo sa bato, dumaan man ang maraming pasko. Kahit na di mo na abot ang sahig, kahit di mo na ako marinig, ikaw pa rin ang buhay ko.

2) Wrong terms! Town house is a wrong term because it should have been called "city house". Whoever bought, could be someone "out-of-town". Thunderstorm's also a wrong term because what's tagalog for thunder? Kulog! What's for storm? Bagyo! (Typhoon also Bagyo). We'll settle their differences later but in the meantime, it's supposed to be "Lightning Storm"!

3) Lamay sa Pampanga -

Atin ku pung singsing
Metung yang timpukan
Amana ke iti
King indung ibatan.
Sangkan keng sininup
King metung a kaban
Mewala ya iti,
E ku kamalayan.

4) More wrong terms? If you look at SLEX, why are there's so many EXIT? Where's the ENTRANCE? What about apartment? That's so wrong because if you look at the word "apart", that means separate but look at those buildings sticking together, this should have been called ATTACHMENT.

- We're now serving Funeral Registry because...it's better late than never!

Funeral Registry

- So much for a police checkpoint in a temporary gun ban.

- They're comparing what people react when they see someone in a tattoo.

- A life in a day of an ordinary dad.

- They're comparing how people do before eating.

- Who is Rushy Rose?!

Mercedes-Benz CLA45 AMG

If you see an AMG-powered 4-door saloon, your reactions would always be sweating for excitement because of its adrenaline-fueled performance that tickles your fancy. However, most AMG saloons can be somewhat expensive. The current C63 AMG saloon costs about 72,233 Euros and if you have 60 grand, then you can't have it because you don't have that kind of dough.

2014 Mercedes-Benz CLA45 AMG

So, that car in question is an AMG version of Mercedes-Benz's smallest saloon car that everyone can buy, the CLA-Class. At first glance, you might think that the CLA-Class is essentially a 4-door version of the current A-Class and that's true. It is. For the new CLA45 AMG, think of it as an A45 AMG with a trunk on the back. You still get a load of stuff as seen on the A45 AMG in a 4-door coupe look that you can't resist the temptation of the devil.

Speaking of the devil, the CLA45 AMG costs 56,079 Euros, that's over 16 grand less than the C63 AMG sedan but six and a half grand more than its 5-door equivalent, the A45 AMG. So, it's a modest price to pay for the CLA45 AMG but is it still worthy of being a junior AMG-powered sport saloon?

2014 Mercedes-Benz CLA45 AMG

Well, for starters, yes. Barely... The CLA45 AMG is still as quirky as little girl's outfit which you didn't notice that it was reversible and turned into a goat costume, suitable enough to fool a chupacabra. What's exactly is a chupacabra anyway? I don't even read mythologies about this creature from New Mexico that sucks goats, which is what the aswang do to the internal parts of the human body. Hmmm... As I point out, a chupacabra can root, sniff, has long neck, and a desert dweller but don't get me wrong. This isn't fun and games, this is science. Science abuse. And as for the CLA45, it can root through the corners, sniff fear from its rivals, hurts anyone with a long neck, and loves to dwell not just in the desert but almost anywhere thanks to its 4MATIC all wheel drive. Yep, it can act like el chupacabra but it still has faith in science.

Faith in science is like...um...like surviving the hammer blow on the front, lying down on the bed of nails, and walk through fires. If some of your friends think this car's too uncomfortable for a small car like this, think of this as a faith in science. Even though the AMG sports suspension is well tailored for the open roads and on track days, your faith in science is tested when you're driving on city roads. Yeah, driving this one on the city roads really feels like you've been lying down on a bed of nails for too long and this isn't well civilized to be an everyday driver's car.

The newly developed 2.0L turbo engine as applied on the A45 AMG, mated with SPEEDSHIFT DCT 7-speed sports transmission, produces about 360PS of power and 450Nm of torque. When you keep your foot down, it's still faith in science but it's a totally different faith in science especially when you're opted for an available Performance Exhaust. 0-60mph takes about 4.5 seconds and top speed is normally limited to 155mph. Not bad though, not bad for a small sedan with the heart of a Rodong something-something.

2014 Mercedes-Benz CLA45 AMG

2014 Mercedes-Benz CLA45 AMG

It's been quite a while since AMG came up with an excuse for those who can't afford a C63 AMG but want something more than the A45 AMG, which is the most affordable AMG in the range. The CLA45 was to be like that but it's only made to be as ballistic as a North Korean missiles made for armageddon. Sadly though, even though it's an all-rounder, the fun doesn't last for too long and because of its 4WD, it's too much grip and overall, it feels as mild as...watching a movie titled Magnifico. I'm not quite pleased about this chemistry and if it was made to be a junior CLS63 AMG, it's really not that bad. Well, because this isn't the kind of AMG you'd expect on the grocery parking lot, it isn't quite noticeable in the real world. For cheap thrills, why not consider a Volvo S60 for a change?

Photo: Mercedes-Benz

Threats from North Korea - A Week in Review (July 13, 2013)

And now, the week in review of what's what at the Korean peninsula...

July 8, 2013

- With the North and South Korea taking their first steps towards reopening the Kaesong complex, SoKor president Park Geun-hye's plans for fully normalizing the business park involves attracting foreign investors and the application of international standards for business.

- South Korea will reinforce anti-bugging measures at its diplomatic missions this year, amid allegations that Washington had spying on its allies, including Seoul.

July 9, 2013

- Preparations are underway for the second round of working-level talks between North and South Korea scheduled for Wednesday in the North Korean border town of Kaesong.

July 10, 2013

- After hours of discussions, the two Koreas failed to reach an agreement on how to normalize operations at the Kaesong Complex.

- North Korea proposed to hold working-level talks with the South on reopening the Mt. Geumgang resort as well as resuming family reunions for those separated during the Korean War.

- SoKor President Park Geun-hye says that South Korea and China stand firm together on the notion that a nuclear North Korea will never be tolerated.

July 11, 2013

- Easing regulations, is the focus of a second-batch of measures to boost investment, unveiled in this morning's meeting chaired by President Park Geun Hye

- Prosecutors raided Hyundai Heavy Industries HQ in Seoul over suspicious two high-level officials from the company paid bribes totalling over half a million dollars to a sales department head at Korea Hydro & Nuclear Power.

July 12, 2013

- Seoul's Unification Ministry again called on North Korea to participate in talks on the resumption of reunions for families separated during the Korean War, after the North pulled out of proposals for talks with the South last night.

- Despite issues, the first group of South Korean firms with factories at Kaesong Complex brought back their finished goods and materials from the business park today.

Let's Do The News! (July 12, 2013)

River's Diary

Ugh. With tomorrow, some Seattle residents are getting some power interruption for 6 hours, thanks to some maintenance courtesy of Seattle City Light, I guess I need to rethink what I'm gonna do tomorrow. While I'm still enraged from the announcement that the legendary Goodwood Hill Climb will be featured on the upcoming Gran Turismo 6 game, I wonder what's going on around here?

- There's been a new kind of internet trend going on around here and it involves teens making videos of their stuff (or swag they call it) they bought from the mall or something else (especially me). That was called "Haul Videos" and what was that all about. Let the Doof explain why...

DOOF'S HAUL 2013: SWAG, CELEBS AND MISERY on Disney Video

- The staff behind the Ace Combat series launched a teaser site for their new game. What could that be? The message from the teaser says

"That day our sky fell, the heavens split to create new skies."

What could that be? Stay tuned...

- BBC America's Anglophenia now has another one of "Doctor Who How To Dress As" articles, just before this year's San Diego Comic Con starts. Now, they had an article about How To Dress Like Clara Oswin Oswald but unlike any articles about how to dress as your favorite Doctor Who characters, this is a little bit vague. Why don't you check it out and find out how to dress as The Impossible Girl?

- Pacific Rim is showing tomorrow in US theaters and if some people think this is another one of must-miss movies of Summer 2013, some people think it's going to be a smash hit because of giant robots saving humanity against giant alien monsters. I was expecting to be super good, so good, I might be saying “Man, they would love this in Japan”. Speaking of which, check out this Pacific Rim movie poster I saw on the internet, Metal Gear style. Why? Because it was illustrated by Metal Gear's Yoji Shinkawa.



- Jeremy Clarkson, host of Top Gear, reviewed the MG6 Magnette in one of his columns from The Sunday Times and he said bad things about this car, especially the one that he said about the idling stop system “It’s not bad, its hysterically terrible.” MG Motor UK made a statement from the China Car Times, defending the MG6's views. Here's one of the excerpts:

The styling of the car was led by talented British Design Director Tony Williams- Kenny, educated at none other than Coventry University, England and the engineering team lead by fellow Brit Dave Lindley. It has taken years of hard work to secure over £500m of long term inward investment into the UK and the creation of 400 jobs (on a site where we all know back in 2005 there were suddenly none) in the Birmingham design, engineering and assembly facility. This new investment in automotive design, engineering and assembly at this point in the economy is something Britain should celebrate. So why does the Sunday Times promote trying to undermine this?

 - In the midst of her controversy, the now-lesbian Charice is ranked no. 1 in THE ALTERNATIVE Autostraddle Hot 105: Hotties You Will Like Who Also Like Girls.

What's in our Car Town garage today? (July 12, 2013)

What's in our Car Town garage today?

2012 Honda N BOX + Custom

Launched in 2011, Honda's first ever tall kei wagon, the N BOX is the first ever Honda to be implemented with Honda's newly developed EARTH DREAMS TECHNOLOGY. It was the company's first model to be equipped with an idling stop function that shuts the engine off when stopped and the starts again when it sets off. Two styles are available such as the normal model and the stylish Custom model which adds style to the N BOX. The + (Plus) variant sees the addition of the MULTI SPACE SYSTEM for added conveniences.

2012 Honda N BOX + Custom

2012 Nissan Dai Yoshihara's FD S13

For the Formula Drift 2012 season, Daijiro Yoshihara's drift-spec Silvia S13 was revamped with a new engine, ECU, and data system. The suspension's also revised in compliance to the rule change as well as the transition to narrow 255 tires.

2012 Nissan Dai Yoshihara's FD S13

2009 Nissan GT-R

The 2007 Tokyo Motor Show sees the return of the legendary Japanese sports icon, the Nissan GT-R. With the Skyline name dropped, the R35 GT-R is Nissan's bonafide supercar built from scratch while incorporating most of its GTR heritage and motorsports involvements in one unique package. It's powered by Nissan's newly developed VR38DETT engine, which generates 492PS of power and 588Nm of torque, transferred through all four wheels.

2009 Nissan GT-R

Let's Do The News! (July 11, 2013)

(cheers and applause)

2014 Porsche Panamera

2014 Aston Martin Rapide S

2013 Maserati Quattroporte

JC: So, which of these four-door supercars do you like most. Richard?

RH: Well, since I'm a Porsche guy, I would go for the Panamera.

(audience laughing)

JC: What?

RH: Yeah, all right. Even though Porsche deleted its manual gearbox on its lineup, it's still works its magic and the Turbo model really is my pick. I still go for it no matter what.

JM: Well, I'd go for the Rapide S because I'm impressed that it's no longer made by the Austrians anymore. It's now built in Britain anymore via Aston Martin's Gaydon plant and hey, it really is as vicious as Sid Vicious from Sex Pistols, although I'm not sure about that whole story anyway...

(audience laughing)

JC: Well, my pick goes for the Maserati because well even though it's not quite as quicker as those two but its still got some character building traits on it. I don't care about those demerits. I love it because that's what matters to me now.

RH: Uh...yeah. Not bad about the new Quattroporte though. We find both the Rapide and the Quattroporte quite enjoyable to drive and enjoyable to do powerslides. Oh, good noise as well!

JC: Yeah, right. Good noise for the Maserati and the Aston. Still, I don't like the Porsche though...

(audience laughing)

JM: Anyway, it's the news and it's GOOD NEWS! Namco's Namjatown is officially REOPENED!

JC: Oohh!!

(cheers and applause)

JC: How long has it been since its 7 month renovation?

JM: Well, it's a long story short but hey, since it's reopened, there's going to be a special event down at the Namco Namjatown in collaboration with...(ahem)...some sequel of a horror game.

JC: Wait, could it be Corpse Party?

JM: Yes it is, Jeremy. It's Corpse Party Tortured Souls. They had an event from now until the end of September. Also, and this is something we're avoiding for...

(audience laughing)

RH: Oh wait! I know this! There was a special event in collaboration with Uta no Prince-sama Maji Love 2000% from July 19 to September 16, 2013.

(audience laughing)

JC: Whoa. Don't wanna go to that kind of event. He he he... Anyway, Konami, there's some news going on around here that over 35,000 user accounts on the company's "KONAMI ID portal site" may have been compromised. 

(huh)

JM: Wait, over 35,000 users?

JC: Yeah. The worst-part scenario was that there's a possibility that most of the users' real names, addresses, emails, date of birth, gender, and phone numbers could have been accessed. I'm not sure but that case was similar from Nintendo when they had noticed that 23,926 accounts on its "Club Nintendo" fan site may have been compromised between June 2-9. You know, my idea for not doing this again, well because this is Konami, makers of Metal Gear series, they should have military-grade security like what most armies do to their networks!

(audience laughing)

JM: Really?

JC: Yeah. Because Konami's very good at making too much Metal Gear stuff, they should better beef up their securities in the event that such case won't be happened again. Think about it, since Konami knows that video games are their weaponry, they should better be more heavily armed! Heavily armed, I said!

(audience laughing)

RH: Anyway, coming up now is this year's Goodwood Festival of Speed and this event is jam-packed with the finest machines from past to present to take on the Goodwood Hill Climb every year and oh! There's going to be premieres on this event like this...

2014 Caterham Seven 620R

(ooohh)

RH: That's the new Caterham 620R, that's the brand's most extreme model to date. Costs 49,995, comes with a 2.0L supercharged Ford engine, 310hp of power, 0-60 in 2.8 seconds. Incredible! This is even more better than the R500 a few years before.

JC: Yeah, I agree with you. That is even more staggering for a car like that...

RH: Which you can't fit in because the room's too small for you...

(audience laughing)

RH: I think this would fit you...

2013 Jaguar Project 7 Concept

(ooohh)

JC: Uh, that's an F-Type, right?

RH: Yeah but this is a concept machine made specifically for this event. It's called the Project 7 and what this is is a combination between the F-Type and the D-Type. It has the same supercharged 5.0L V8 engine from the F-Type, 550PS of power, and hey! I think it looks beautiful in personal.

JC: Well, at least it's not quite as dweeby as the Caterham.

(audience laughing)

JM: Hey, Hammond. You once did a review on the 208 GTi, right? Well, here's what you've been missing because there's a hot version of the RCZ coming and it's called the RCZ R. Here it is...

2014 Peugeot RCZ R

JM: It's the most powerful production model ever made by Peugeot, 270bhp of power from its 1.6L engine, 0-60 in less than six seconds, and you have to wait till next year to buy one.

(audience laughing)

RH: Well, perhaps that didn't see it coming. A more powerful Peugeot ever made and it's a sheer sign that Peugeot's stepping out from making dull cars despite the signs of the times. 

JC: Oh! Oh! Citroen! They've announced another debut for the Goodwood Festival of Speed. Here it is. Concept car for the moment...

Citroen DS3 Cabrio Racing Concept

JC: This is the DS3 Cabrio Racing but sadly no writings as seen on the hardtop equivalent. All I can see some red lines on its matte grey color.

(audience laughing)

JC: It's 25kg more than the hatchback but still has the same THP 202 engine as the hatchback model and I think I like this one better than the Fiat 500 Abarth Convertible you drove two years ago.

RH: Oh come on...

(audience laughing)

JC: Anyway, before we end the news, I just heard that because of Gran Turismo going to be involved in the event, the upcoming Gran Turismo 6 game will feature the famed Goodwood Hill Climb on this game! I can't believe that Gran Turismo's going to feature this place and that's unfair. It's officially official. I hate Goodwood.

(audience laughing)

JC: And that's the end of the news.

Porsche Panamera minor change

All Porsches in the world are ugly and the Porsche Panamera looks more like a mangled ape. You might think that the ugliest Porsches of all would alienate buyers to its rivals, especially the Aston Martin Rapide and the Maserati Quattroporte but you were wrong because back in 2011, it seems that United States sold more Panameras than any other countries where it sold while the US city that sold the most was Los Angeles with 890 Panamera units sold. I can't believe that why rich wealthy American playboys took into consideration of buying one but never mind about that because what I heard, the ugliest Porsche of them all...gets a makeover and I'm not sure what's the outcome for this...

2014 Porsche Panamera

Well, for this minor change, the premium design that looks like a mangled ape, still looks like a mangled ape even though the Panamera minor change gained some new front and rear bumpers and some internal changes occurred for the updated model.

Let's start at the S variant because in the pre-facelifted model, it carries a 4.8L V8 which generates 400HP of power and a top speed of 177mph but for the new Panamera S model, as well as its 4WD derivative, the 4S, downsizing is now a thing of a present because now, the 4.8L V8 has been thrown away for good as well as its 6-speed manual transmission and inject it with a smaller 3.0L V6 twin turbo engine mated with a 7-speed PDK gearbox so the main things you'll be noticing on this downsizing are these: 20hp more power and 20Nm more torque, but up to 18 per cent better fuel economy compared to the V8 engine in the previous model.

Not bad for a downsized engine but I still find it disappointing that the 6-speed gearbox as seen on the old model has been thrown away for good so where's the fun at with this double-clutch gearbox? Although, this gearbox provides quicker shift times than the old manual, it's still just not worth it and yes, there's going to be a major trouble around here in the event of parking this car.

2014 Porsche Panamera

There are other updates for the new model as well such as the base model's 3.6L V6 model which now produces 310HP of power, annoyingly less powerful and slower than the new Maserati Quattroporte S Q4's 3-litre V6 engine. Then, the stripped-out GTS version gets a 10HP up to its 4.8L V8 engine while mated with a 7-speed PDK, developing a top speed of 179mph. Lastly, and the only powerful of its range for now, the Panamera Turbo's 4.8L V8 twin turbo engine gained a 20HP increase and the top speed is now 190mph, that's the same top speed as the Aston Martin Rapide S.

There are no changes to the diesel model, which has a 3.0L V6 turbodiesel engine that develops 250HP of power, 550Nm of torque, 152mph of top speed, and 166g/km of CO2 emissions.

2014 Porsche Panamera

For the 4S and Turbo models, there's now, for the first time, a long wheelbase version called the Executive and for this model, it adds 150mm of its wheelbase, making the rear legroom a little bit longer, which is ideal is some countries, especially China because in the Chinese car industry, space in the back matters more than anything else and, while this is only a hunch, those who bought these prefer to be chauffeured.

Yes, the Executive model of the Panamera is built for those who cares about space in the back and prefered to be chauffeured but since being chauffeured is not part of the new Panamera's character-building traits, let's find out more about its driving dynamics and find out what's like to be a driver's car.

When someone calls you that they don't like looking at your car, you'll be on a great shock that you'd notice that you've been driving such an ugly car on the streets and even if you want to make some noise in the tunnels, it seems a bit more quiet even when you make some revs. Seems that Silence has fallen with this one, if you know what I mean? Yep, Silence has fallen for the new Panamera when it comes to be a head-turning sports saloon but in terms of track days, when you are against the new Maserati Quattroporte and the Aston Martin Rapide S, it's really not that bad. I know, its 7-speed PDK maybe a royal pain in my fingers but it's still worth a fun to drive premium saloon car and when this car gets it right, it can easily eat both the new Quattroporte and the new Rapide S in terms of setting a lap time.

2014 Porsche Panamera

Most Porsches are ugly and they're not exciting to look at but they are durable and tough and that wins in the end and in the new Panamera, although it may look like a mangled ape, it may not look durable and tough because of its risk of recalls but because of its 911 inspirations, it behaves more like a track weapon rather than a car built for those who want to be chauffeured. It maybe a big car but its a definite wild car for those who want to fool around all day long.

Mind you, the new Panamera still comes with an almost perfect weight distribution, the lowest center of gravity of any big saloon and its lighter than any premium saloon rather than the featherweight Jaguar XJR. It even comes with magnesium window frames to keep the lard at bay. With all that and in the corners, it's an unfair science fair redux but that's just another story. I mean, even if it has flaws, it doesn't matter. I think I'm going to like this more than the BMW M5 and because it has a turbocharged V8 engine in the lineup, I am well impressed by its stunning behavior as well as its footwork needed. Despite the 6-speed MT is gone for good for this facelift, it's still a wonderful chemistry.

Be warned though, even if its fast car, you'll never gonna win in a race against an incoming parcel. I'm just saying...

Photo: Dr. Ing. h.c. F. Porsche AG.

Aston Martin Rapide S

It's been awhile since Aston Martin launched their first-ever four-door premium saloon car, the Rapide, and even though it's not quite as aggressive as either the DB9 or the DBS, it's still worth it for a four-door saloon car that is quintessentially British, despite the fact that it's been made by the Austrians. Really? Austrians? Says here it's made in Graz, Austria, so this isn't quite British at all but happily though, there's a brand new version that is even more British than before...

2014 Aston Martin Rapide S

The brand new Aston Martin Rapide S looks pretty much the same as the old model but take note that everything's changed for the new model aside from the new front grille that looks unorthodox for the Rapide S. I don't know why but I think that new front view kinda spoils the beauty of this car. The new front grille kinda looks like...and I'm not joking...like a Hyundai because come to think of it, it looks more hexagonal shaped like any other current Hyundais and it seems that some of the designers had gone a bit succumbed to hallyu or the Korean wave.

Although with the stupid Hyundai-esque grille that spoils the new Rapide S' looks, there's some good news that this car is no longer made in Austria because it's now made to the home of the Aston Martins and in the same factory where they made the new Vanquish. Wanna guess where?

What I have here is an ATLAS and what I'm gonna do is flip the pages, and then when I see Europe, I head to United Kingdom, and one part of United Kingdom is Warwickshire, and one part of Warwickshire is a small village called Gaydon. That's right, it's now built in Aston Martin's Gaydon plant in Warwickshire, England and this is a great call because it's no longer been made by the Germans because if it does, it feels like a British was revealed to be a traitor and he came from its German opponents. We're talking about Anglo-German wars back there and if this was happened again, I don't really know what's going on in a great island we called Great Britain.

2014 Aston Martin Rapide S

Anyway, enough about WWII jokes because anything more than that and it's game over for us. Let's move on to the way it drives and how it feels to be as a driver's car. Anyway, while this is an updated model, there's something else about its dynamics and let's start at the engine. Like any V12-powered Astons of today such as the DB9 and the Vanquish, the Rapide S still has the same 6.0L V12 engine but now, it's boosted from 477HP to 558HP of power output while torque output is now 457lb-ft of torque. 558HP of power... That's about 35HP more than the new Maserati Quattroporte GTS' 3.8 V8 and of course, it still has the same 6-speed flappy paddle gearbox which is just right rather than the overloaded 8-speed gearbox from the new Maserati Quattroporte. It's also 38HP more than the Porsche Panamera Turbo but let's not forget that in the straights, the Panamera Turbo can easily smoke both the Rapide S and the New Quattroporte by a margin and on the track, ditto.

In terms of top speed, the Rapide S was now improved from the old model's 188 mph to 190 mph, which is quicker than the old model but as a warning, it's 1mph short than the Maserati Quattroporte GTS and annoyingly, matches the same top speed as the facelifted Porsche Panamera Turbo which comes with a double-clutch transmission which is unpronounceable in German. What was that called? Dopple? Dopplekupling...um...doppelkupplungsgetriebe? Oh yeah! Doppelkupplungsgetriebe! Anyway, Rapide S, like any other Astons, doesn't had that because it sticks to its TOUCHTRONIC 2 6-speed flappy paddles.

2014 Aston Martin Rapide S interior

What's annoying about the Rapide S is its weight gain and because it spends too much dinner parties, it now weighs 1990kg, 40kg more than the old Rapide, but despite the added weight, it's still as vicious to drive as the late punk rock icon Sid Vicious, who was from Sex Pistols. With the right weight distribution, low centre of gravity, double wishbone suspensions, and with lower polar moment of inertia, it still works just as fine and for the real fun, you might spend the whole hours performing burnouts on an open space. This is exactly what it feels like when Sid Vicious died from overdose at his young age and if those tires got blown, you know what this is, don't you? He he he...

2014 Aston Martin Rapide S interior

And like any other Aston Martins, it's quiet and comfortable and the new Rapide S really drives beautifully, making it one of the most epic 4-door grand tourers made for everyday uses. You can use it while going for a dinner party, going to the shops, on a date, or you just wanna do anything for business and leisure. After all, because with all of the tweaked stuff for the new model, the Rapide S from Aston Martin is definitely one of the best four-door supercars ever made, probably because of its promising theory that it can provide the comfort of a luxury car with the dynamism of an exotic. Still, if you're a selfie, you just really wish you want to drive one of those...

Photo: Aston Martin