Enrique Gil, IHAW NA!

On March 5, 2013's Banana Nite, in the IHAW NA segment, we saw Tito Bhoy interviewing guest celeb Enrique Gil and Enrique teaches Tito Bhoy how to dougie...

Then, Melai introduces the top five tips on how to prevent your phone getting snatched by snatchers.

5) Record the message "I snatched the phone! I'm a snatcher! Call the cops!" and then use it as ringtone. If you have a reserve phone, call the phone that was snatched by the snatcher!

4) Add a time bomb on your phone. If he snatched your phone, ready yourself with a detonator and blow it away!

3) Don't take the cellphone off your bag. Instead, put your bag on your head and answer the call.

2) Try to give the phone to the snatcher and have him fooled.

1) Don't bring your cellphone!

Meanwhile, Angelica showcases the most hillarious Facebook pics in Eto Na Post. It showcased establishments giving crazy names

Forza Horizon: Barn Find Classic

The BMW M1 is an instant classic

Well, I'd never talked about the barn finds I have found in Forza Horizon, it's perhaps because I'd never gotten the chance to talk about it but now, I am.

This is one of the barn finds you can find on Horizon, and that is the BMW M1. By the moment I found this one and only Bimmer supercar, I got to know what is like to be driven in one of the most legendary Bimmers in the history and gotta tell you that it's a bit tricky to master it first but if I put in all of my effort of mastering the M1, boy do I got that reward?

Audi RS5 Cabriolet

Now let's move on to the Audi RS5. As told from Top Gear, the RS5 is not a decent alternative to the BMW M3, heavier than the BMW M3, not a successor to the fire-breathing Audi quattro and can be sometimes a terrible rubbish. Now however, Audi has come up with a new variant of the RS5...

2014 Audi RS5 Cabriolet

This is the Audi RS5 Cabriolet. Just like the RS5, it has quattro all-wheel drive that you can still reach incredible angles and rescue it but for the sake of neck-breaking pleasure. Like the RS5, it too has a 4.2 FSi V8 engine that produces 450HP of power. That's about the same power that you'll get on the upcoming C7 Corvette Stingray, if I'm honest. At the starting price of around 88,500 Euros, that's about as cheaper than the latest BMW M6 Cabrio or the Jaguar XKR-S Convertible! Hmmm...

That doesn't seem bad for a car that costs less than the M6 or an XKR-S but on the subject of the RS5, I can also expect some party piece that fires a droplet of exhaust, meaning that this car uses some petrol to make changing gear sound nice. Yes, really, the exhaust note of the RS5's pretty dramatic but this is the cabriolet version. And if by cabriolet, let's called it the ruined version of the RS5 because the weight has only gone up by around 200kg and the height has been lowered by over 20mm. With all the added weight on the RS5 Cabriolet, 0-100kph takes about 4.9 seconds and top speed normally limited to 250kph while being mated with a 7-speed dual clutch transmission, the one with the party piece I was talking about where the world's precious resources has been converted to noise.

In partial terms of driving the RS5 Cabriolet the feeling with the roof open is simple. You can listen to that exhaust note very clearly, which in fact, you can get high on to that noise as long as you want but don't if you are in a very cold place where closing the roof is mandatory. It might be best if you are in the world's best driving roads where you can freely open the roof, forget about the radio, and enjoy what's in store in the open road. This is about as cheeky as Chummy but in the corners, expect catastrophic understeer. It's got the power but when you're cornering the RS5, it kinda feels like you are going to eat the whole chocolate cake of be sent to the chokey. Ouch. Gosh, I don't wanna be in the chokey. I'd rather just eat the whole chocolate cake and get outta here before facing the most deadly consequence known to little kids many.

However, if you're in the city, the RS5 Cabriolet is not the kind of car you would use on a day-to-day basis because as you going around in the streets, people are starting to get you noticed that you are going to the wrong party in the wrong clothes. Say you are wearing your everyday work clothes and then you're entering your party only to find out that it's a costume party and you don't even have a costume. Also worse that you are bumping yourself at the frat house where you'll meet up with a bunch of trash-talking males boozing around for a couple of minutes and then sharing their experiences about bullying, skipping school, and other stuff that most idiots do in their university life. If you are driving this car while you are heading to the prom or to the opening gala hosted by your boss, it feels like you think you are Sir Chief...Oh wait, I'm not a Sir Chief, I'm an oxymoron driving an Audi! Ugh, there goes the pigsa in my back...

In essence then the RS5 Cabriolet is the kind of car that feels like there's something on your back and that "something" on your back is just an average pigsa, waiting to be squished...

Photo: AUDI AG

Let's Do The News! (March 5, 2013)

(cheers and applause)

2013 Volkswagen The Beetle Cabriolet

JM: So, you were saying that there was no existing console video game featured the 21st Century Beetle?

JC: I tell you what, it's because most blokes from video game publishers often want to "turn left" and if by "turn left", I mean of course, going back from the previous century. That's the problem with racing video games featuring licensed cars. They always wanna turn left and prefer only cars from the 50's, 60's, 70's, 80's, the list goes on and on...

JM: Hmmm, what about present times?

(audience laughing)

JC: That's something I can't tell you about and oh! Tell you what? Let's do the news!

RH: Now, one of my favorite Porsche 911 of all time, the 911 GT3, has now received the full model change and based on the 991 model, the new 911 GT3 will be debuted at this year's Geneva Motor Show. Check this out...

2014 Porsche 911 GT3

JC: Oh my goodness....

RH: What's about the GT3 is an uprated 3.8L flat-6 engine which develops 450 horsepower, 0 to 60 in 3.5 seconds, mated with a double-clutch gearbox and...

JC: And you better need to get some eye checkups at EO...

(audience laughing)

RH: ?????

JC: Cause I tell you what, this GT3 version of the 991 911 is the kind of car a certain idiot would have if he has poor eyesight and needs to have an eye checkup at EO...

JM: EO? Himmel EO?

(audience laughing)

JC: No, Executive Optical. That's EO. Also, what I'm thinking about this car that because everything's changed on the 911 GT3, you'd have to dress yourself as Tekken's Xiaoyu to enjoy it or iM@S' Azusa Miura...

(audience laughing)

RH: So, fat boy in suit, as you were saying you have to be either Xiaoyu or Azusa Miura to enjoy this Executive Optical that has been beefed up with PDK and a boxer enigne uprated for perfection... Are you sure about that?

JC: Yes. And since you like 911s, guess this is your responsibility to dress yourself as Xiaoyu or Azusa Miura and get inside the new GT3 just to find out how c*ck of an oxymoron you are.

(audience laughing)

JC: Anyway, there's a brand new Lamborghini coming at the Geneva Motor Show and it's a car that celebrates 50 years of Lamborghini. Here it is...

2013 Lamborghini Veneno

(oooohh)

JC: This is what they called it...um...ah...Well, never mind about that name. What this new car is that it was based on the Aventador, V12 engine now has 750HP, costs a million pounds, limited to three, and...

JM: And already sold out....

JC: What?

JM: Already...sold out.

(audience laughing)

JC: Oh, really. Guess because the car with a stupid name is already sold out, guess we're not going to try it round the track. What a relief though...

(audience laughing)

JM: Yeah, and what was that name of that car?

JC: I don't know...It's something spelled V-E-N-E-N-O.

JM: Veneno?

(audience laughing)

JC: Yeah, Veneno...Kinda sounds like Neneko...

RH: Oh gosh...

(audience laughing)

JC: Oh, hey! Hey! I have a little story to tell.

RH: What story is it about? Do you mean at the time that you have to bang your head everytime when you seen a picture of Miss Jenna Lousie Coleman in the "souffle" search term?

(audience laughing)

JC: Oh, no no no no....Because when I was busy making tweets at twitter, there was that girl I've encountered. That girl told me that I like iDOLM@STEr and she, too, was an iM@S fan. She also explained that her favorite iM@S character was Haruka Amami. Just a little tidbit that I'm gonna share it to you, pals.

JM: Wait, wait, wait...So you were saying that this girl you've encountered, she's an iM@S fan and Haruka Amami's her favorite character. What does she look like?

(audience laughing)

RH: Yeah, what does this mystery girl look like?

JC: I have a sneaking suspicion that this girl...Kinda look like "souffle girl"

RH: Oh geez....

(audience laughing)

JC: Of course, I have some kind of "Oswin Oswald tendencies" on my head. I just can't get away that this person I've just encountered on the internet really really reminded me of souffle girl. To be honest, I have a sneaking suspicion that this person might be named Clara...

JM: Clara, as in, Clara Oswin Oswald?

(audience laughing)

JC: Sort of...She looks like Clara, talks like souffle girl, except she's an iM@S fan. She's not a souffle girl, but more of a carbon copy...A carbon fiber copy...Mmmmm...

(audience laughing)

JC: Anyway, while on the subject of iM@S, while most mobage subscribers are enjoying Cinderella Girls, it seems that social media network GREE decides to have a shot at it. With the help of game maker, Bandai Namco, GREE launched a new iDOLM@STER social game that will rival mobage's Cinderella Girls.

THE IDOLM@STER MILLION LIVE

JM: Yes, it is. It's called MILLION LIVE. And just like Mobage's iM@S Cinderella Girls, you have different choice idols for you to produce but just like Cinderella Girls, this is nothing more of a collectible card game.

RH: Right, just like in Cinderella Girls, players pay some cash, real cash it is, to draw a random idol that they train and compete with. Most are NORMAL, some are RARE, while few are SUPER RARE so the odds of getting a specific card differs depending on how much money you spend it on, especially after you prepare to sell your house, kidneys and your grand-children's future.

(audience laughing)

 JM: Thing is though, as of now, there are 50 idols available (with more to be added later) and thing is though that there are three types of idols such as VOCAL, DANCE, and VISUAL.

RH: Each idol is different in stats and if a producer seized its opportunity against the odds, with the right training and the right idols, they will progress further to become a TOP IDOL. Well, this is much more like the Cinderella Girls game to be honest. There were NORMAL, RARE, SUPER RARE, and others. There's so many variations of each idol and each variation comes with different stats.

JM: Yeah, this needs a lot of experimenting to do, Hamster...

(audience laughing)

VW The Beetle Cabriolet

The 21st Century Beetle from Volkswagen is a modern take to the iconic people's car with many names. Although it doesn't have any luck finding car racing games to feature this modern take of an iconic classic, the 21st Century Beetle tries to impress the crowd with its modern features while retaining the decade-old legendary heritage that shapened the Volkswagen brand for years.

Most car enthusiasts told me that they didn't like the 21st Century Beetle because those headlights look gawdy even when they put some eyelashes on it. Get it? Those Beetle headlamps with some eyelashes on it can be somewhat a terrible rubbish and because they're men, they prefer to turn left. Turn left as in going backwards, way way back to the Beetle of the 60's because for those men, classic is better than modern. Really? Perhaps that's why there are no console racing games of today would have featured the 21st Century Beetle? Comments? They said the G-word that composed of three letters, starts with G and ends in Y, two consonants and one vowel. What's that word? Never mind about that...

2013 Volkswagen The Beetle Cabriolet

Thing is though that Volkswagen launched an open-top Cabriolet version and...um...would you look at that, the Beetle that some say it was made for girls now even more girlier with the roof opened. I just can't think of any word that best describes this Beetle Cabriolet. No no no...don't call it New Beetle Cabriolet cause there's going to be some confusion between two different generations. Anyway, the car...

It's like the 21st Century Beetle, it has the same styling features as the hardtop model, the same "would-be-perfect-for-girls" look that feels like it can put some makeup on it and show off to your friends at Beverly Hills 90210 but because this is a cabriolet version of The Beetle, it's an open-top west coast cruiser where girls just wanna have fun, even Barbie...(laughing)

Even though it has a soft-top roof on the girl-laden Beetle, there's this dreary switch which opens this dreary top for just a dreary 9.5 seconds and you'll have to wait for 11 seconds to close it. Dreary? Oh wait, I often said this word a couple of times. What's dreary, anyway? No clue why I used that word. Perhaps I must look that up to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary and find out...

2013 Volkswagen The Beetle Cabriolet

Well, since I am too far from the Merriam-Webster dictionary, let's talk about more from The Beetle Cabriolet. Well, prices start from around 21,350 Euros and engine choices consist of a 1.2 TSi, 1.4 TSi, 2.0 TSi, 1.6 TDi, and 2.0 TDi. If you were given a choice, I think that the ones with big power is a bit too much and therefore, might be best to pick the smaller one. A 1.2 TSi petrol enigne would be enough for a start so it's best not to bother the ones with the bigger power on it. That's a bit too dry.

As for the handling, well, like the hardtop equivalent, it's a bit nicer to drive but only if you are a girl who are aged 20 or 30. This works well if you are in a posh place like, for example, Beverly Hills, Milan, Paris, Tokyo, or any other posh place a girl might know about.

Perhaps no wonder most console racing games of today often rejected the idea of featuring the 21st century Beetle in a racing game but it if was such thing as a racing game that features this kind of Beetle, I would be delighted to have one but no thanks, I think I got this...

For a day-to-day basis, The Beetle Cabriolet is not much of an attention grabbing but if you see a male driving this kind of car, the only thing you're embarassing is yourself. It's much worse as wearing a speedo on a beach. Loincloth? No no no....That's also much worse than a speedo. (laughing)

Sadly for me, I don't think this 21st Century Beetle Cabriolet is not the ideal car for me. It's a girl's car only Barbie would have wished for and then place some eyelashes on it. Now if you would mind, I'd better off to some talks about why the 21st Century Beetle hasn't got a chance to be on video games...

Photo: Volkswagen

Surprise BWI-SET!

In one of Kandila's top stories from March 4 2013's Banana Nite, ISANG TAXI, NABANGGA SA POSTE! Reason? Taxi driver's asleep! Also, ISANG BAGONG GANG, NANGBIKTIMA SA BUONG KAMAYNILAAN! Who are those? It's the Lagay-Sungay Gang.

Then, Ryan Bang makes a SURPRISE BWI-SET at the set and cast of Paraiso TV drama!

Forza Horizon: Why I need more hot hatches...

Forza Horizon has it all; from European exotics, American muscle cars, Asian tuners, hot hatches, classics, anything that this game has in store for gamers like me. Anyway, when I said hot hatches, yes they have those hot hatches but sometimes as for me, not all hot hatches are created equally. Sure the main point of an hot hatch is to be as fun as a supercar but you can have a boot, some amenities, anything that made you as spoiled as a spoiled brat. However, I don't think there was some kind of a hot hatch that really tickles my nerves. I mean come on, the best hot hatch you can find is from a French car company which I'm afriad wasn't part of the Horizon game. It's still a mystery when will this "best hot hatch" come to Horizon soon but in the meantime, I have to check over the alternatives and as for me, the results came up none because none of these hot hatches seem to please me, not even this one...

Messing up the warehouse

I tried out the 2013 Ford Focus ST on Horizon and after a few more minutes, I really want to sum it up if this one's an ideal hot hatch for a Horizon gamer like me but it's not that very easy to describe the qualities of the 2013 Focus ST. Under the bonnet is a 2.0L EcoBoost engine that produces about 250PS of power and 340Nm of torque. Zero to 100kph takes about 6.5 seconds and flatout in about 248kph.

Of course, a true hot hatch needs to be sharp, agile, and overall more fun to drive like what you felt on the supercar and seems that the Focus ST...doesn't do those things.  Sure, it has a sport-tuned suspension that is capable on the corners but the steering precision is a bit too harsh for me. There's a bit of an understeer, a bit of torque steer, and it's about as busy as a regular third-generation Ford Focus.

Kaa-kaa!!! Kaa-kaa!!! Oh, what did I just do?

Something tells me that the front view doesn't look pleasant on the Focus ST because it reminded them of some super-deformed character that goes like this..."Kakka! Kakka! Kakka!". Oh, what did I just do? Am I doing the "kakka! kakka!" noise right now? Wait a minute, I shouldn't talk about that or do I? (laughing)

It's a long weekend ahead on us

Despite its drawbacks to its steering, it's problematic revs, the design, and about as busy as a normal third-generation Focus, there are a couple of things that you'll praise about the 2013 Ford Focus ST such as the EcoBoost engine that powers it and the torque. You have to be a major major hooligan to get yourself drunk inside the 2013 Focus ST's underbelly but at what cost? Your dignity? Nah, this hot hatch from Ford is always accessible to every "speedo boy" in the world.

Sadly though the ST is not the type of Focus enthusiasts might like because according to them, the best Focus ever made was the Euro-only RS model but which Focus RS?

Could be handy if I was followed by more than one shadow

Let's skip from that question and move on to the Focus RS I might like about and that's the RS 500. The Ford Focus RS 500. As the name says it all, this final edition model of the European 2nd generation Ford Focus is limited to 500 units (101 of them are in the UK) and what to expect on the RS 500 is an improved 2.5L turbo engine that produces 345bhp of power, zero to hundred sprint in 5.4 seconds and flatout in 165mph. It's the fastest Focus ever made and the best Focus that enthusiasts love is the best Focus...for the priviledged few because all 500 units had been spoken for.

The Black Panther

Thanks to some very clever front differential, the grip is just right, not like the sluggish handling from the 2013 Ford Focus ST if I might say. It's also well balanced as well. This is just the perfect Focus everybody in Horizon really wants because it really has a well balanced chemistry of power and precision. I like that way.

Invited to the party? Oh yes you are...

The Focus RS500 is the best Focus I have ever driven in Horizon but when it comes to search for a perfect hot hatchback, thing is though that even I liked the Focus RS500, perhaps I can do better than that... There are some hot hatches coming soon on Horizon and delving through the hot hatch underbelly offers me a lot of choices to make...

Speaking of which, condolences to those Ford fans in Japan because...um...it's too bad that Japan won't get the 2013 Focus ST even though that the third-generation Ford Focus is now available in Japan in hatchback only and sourced from an ASEAN country that starts with a letter T.

Forza Horizon: V10-powered cousins

A Black Knight in Shining Armor

This is the Audi R8 GT, it's somewhat an improved version of the Audi R8 V10, which in the world of Forza, was one of the best cars I have ever driven since FM3 and for a car that is limited to 333 units worldwide, the R8 GT has an updated 5.2L V10 engine that produces about the same power as the Gallardo LP560-4. That's right, the GT version develops about 560HP of power! Think about it though, for a car that really doesn't have a sense of humor (no matter the corny punchline you'll throw), the R8 GT is definitely a serious lightweight exotic that was trimmed down for perfection and using the knowledge of Audi's motorsport enrichment since Le Mans....

Into the dark skies

Because the V10 engine's upgraded and it lost a hundred kilograms thanks to Audi's consistent use of lightweight materials, 0-60mph time is 3.6 seconds and on a straight, it goes about 320kph according to the manufacturer. It terms of driving feel, the R8 GT is really a sharp handler on its own right. Even though it's a 4WD exotic with its engine mounted at the middle, the R8 GT sure knows how to dance in the corners unlike any other 4WD cars that goes too much grip. It really tickles my instincts but sometimes it really bores me a lot, sort of...

R8 GT showing the nite grooves

Surprisingly though, because the Audi R8 is just a German take of the Lamborghini Gallardo despite the fact that the R8 has some of the Lamborghini components, I was gonna think that the GT version is the Audi equivalent of the Lamborghini Gallardo Superleggera but question is, is the R8 GT better than its Italian stalemate?

It's the Superleggera, hear it roar

The lesser the weight, the more interesting it gets

Uh....this is somewhat too much because while the Audi R8 GT is all about being a serious driver's car, the Gallardo Superleggera is all about being insane. While having the insane V10 engine, same as the R8 GT's, the insane V10 noise, the insane design that present Lambos get, and its Lamborghini quality, the Gallardo Superleggera really thinks that the R8 GT tries to mimick its moves and by judgement, comparing between the R8 GT and the Superleggera is confusing but hey, it seems that the Superleggera was there in the first place of being the lightweight version of the Gallardo and by terms of Superleggera; less weight, more fun. The Audi R8 GT is quite somewhat a carbon copy of the Gallardo Superleggera because they both have improved V10s and they both gone to the South Beach Diet.

What's this? A ray of light coming?

When I drove both the R8 and the Gallardo, those experiences I felt on these cars are pretty much the same but sometimes different, depending on my driving style, road conditions, and their moment of truth. Only someone with a keen judgment can decide which of these two is the better bet and as it turned out, it's not that easy picking a winner between these two...

Try driving these two and you'll see the difference...

"So Good"

On the March 1, 2013 episode of Bubble Gang...

- Painter gags with hassling poses...

- Paolo Contis discusses about different kinds of TEXTING on the TEXT EDUCATION sketch...

- It's time for another SINUNGALING SINO GALING!

- More quotes to live by from Tata Lino

a) Mga bagay dapat ginagamit sa tama at hindi sa maling silbing ito. Tulad ng kamatis na matatagpuan sa buong mundo, itinatanim para kainin at hindi binabato.

b) Parang pagsakay sa escalator ang pag-asenso. Kahit gaanong kabilis ang hakbang, hindi ka makakarating sa taas kung pababa ang sasakyan mo

c) Mga ganyang kalokohan, parang MP3 player. Dapat sinasarili mo na lang at hindi mo na sina-share...

d) Ang kalabaw, hindi sinasadyang kumakapal ang balat niya pero pag pinayagan mo yan, sinasadyang kakapal ang mukha niya kaya dapat sa putikang magtiis at wag siyang maglinis.

- Bubble Gang does KFC Streetwise Box by spoofing this ad as KSP STRETWISE BOX! Yan ang diskarteng STREETWISE! So Good!

Bubble Gang does KFC

- Pickup Lines!

- Listen to your dad and THAT'S AN ORDER!

- Basty Kulit, a little boy, is busy bothering the sari-sari store every day...

- Spending time with the kabit is much more convincing when you're sharing experiences...

Forza 4: Who let the A4's out?

Oh, look who's booked in at the Top Gear Test Track on Forza Motorsport 4. It's those high-performance variants of the Audi A4 through the years. The S4 B5, the S4 B6, the RS4 B7, and the  S4 B8, those were high-performance models of the Audi A4 through the years but those cars are arguing that which one is better. To settle those differences, my inner Stigness send me to lap these cars round the Top Gear track one by one by one to find out which of these "A4 on steroids" is the best...

Let's start with the S4 B5




Based on the Typ 8D (B5) A4, the S4 succeeds from the first Audi C4 S4 when it was debuted in 1997 as part of the Audi A4 B5 minor change.

The B5 S4 is equipped with a 2.7L V6 twin-turbo engine which includes a cast iron cylinder block with two aluminum alloy cylinder heads. This engine produces 265PS of power and 400Nm of torque while mated with a 6-speed C90 manual transmission.

The sedan version was launched in 1997 while the station wagon variant, called the S4 Avant, was launched a year later. In 1999, the B5 S4 went on sale on the USA. Production ended in 2011 although it was sold alongside the A4 B6 through 2002 in North America.

The S4 B5 also makes motorsport history when this is the car of choice for Michael Galati at the 2001 SpeedVision World Challenge where he won the GT title in a Champion Racing S4, winning 4 races and made it to its first manufacturer's Championship.



The S4 B5 crosses the line in 1:32.861...

Now it's the B6's turn...




Following with the success of the B5 S4, the S4 model is now based on the Audi B6 A4, which was based on the Volkswagen Group B6 (PL46) platform. It was available in saloon, Avant, and Cabriolet.

For this model, the S4 B6 comes with the 4.2L V8 engine that can go 0 to 60mph in 5.6 seconds  in the saloon with manual transmission (Avant 5.8 s, Cabriolet 5.9 s) but American car magazine Motor Trend managed to make the S4 B6 go from 0 to 60 in less than five seconds.

In the USA, the S4 B6 was subjected to the $1,700 gas guzzler tax (combined 20.2 miles per US gallon (11.6 L/100 km; 24.3 mpg-imp)) for the six-speed manual sedan.



The B6 Audi S4 did it in 1:30.163...

Next up, the RS4 B7




The first RS4 was introduced in 1999 and went on sale in 2000 as an Avant-only model. From its discontinuation in 2001, Audi produced 6030 RS4 Avant models.

In 2005, the RS4 returned and it was based on the B7 Audi A4. It was available in the European public in mid 2006 and later in North America and up to its discontinuation in 2008, 10,000 units were made. It was available in three body variants; a sedan, an Avant, and a Cabriolet version.

Powered by a 4.2L FSi V8 engine and mated with a 6-speed manual transmission, the RS4 can accelerate from 0-60mph in 4.8 seconds while top speed is normally limted to 155mph.

The B7 RS4 marks a departure from the Audi RS cars tradition (where the previous RS 4 and RS 2 were available exclusively as Avants.) ever since the first Audi RS6. Unique features of the B7 RS4 are the smaller, flat bottomed steering wheel (complete with "Sport" button), Recaro shell-type race bucket seats with electrically inflatable upper and lower side bolsters, and carbon-ceramic brakes.

In Top Gear Season 7 Episode 2, Jeremy Clarkson races the RS4 against mountain climbers at the French Alps and in the end, the mountain climbers defeated the RS4. It went round the Top Gear Test track in 01:25.7.

In Top Gear Season 10 finale, James May drove the RS4 while Jeremy Clarkson's in the Mercedes-Benz C63 AMG and Richard Hammond's in the BMW M3 at the Ascari Race Resort in Spain.



The RS4 did it in 1:23.201, meaning not only I beat Stig's record, it beats the other two but would that lap time be more than enough to be beaten by the current-generation Audi S4 B8? Let's find out...




From the moment the Audi B8 A4 was launched in the 2007 Frankfurt Motor Show, this model is now based on the Volkswagen Group MLB/MLP platform. A year later, Audi has launched an S4 model which was based on the current B8 A4.

Beginning with the B8, the saloon and Avant version was available while the convertible variant was replaced by the Audi S5 Cabriolet in 2009, the year when it went on sale for the European public.

For this model, downsizing occured because the B8 S4 replaced the 4.2L V8 engine with a 3.0L TFSi V6 engine with forced induction via a Roots-style Eaton mechanical supercharger.

Even though it's an S model, the B8 S4 competes with the BMW 335i and the Infiniti G37 since Audi discontinued the Audi B7 RS4 and Audi has never made a competitor to the BMW M3. Optional features on the B8 S4 includes active rear differential, active steering and ultra-quick electrically-adjustable shocks (both via Audi Drive Select Package).

APR Motorsport competed the B8 S4 at the Grand-Am Continental Tire Sports Car Challenge Grand Sport (GS) class.



As it turns out, the S4 B8 managed to do it in 1:28.223, that's about over five seconds slower than the RS4 but still more quicker than the previous S4 models so I therefore conclude that the RS4 B7 is the winner of my Top Gear Forza Motorsport 4 comparisons....

Go pick the RS4 B7...because it's sonorous...

Melissa Ricks, IHAW NA!

2/28/13's Banana Nite's IHAW NA segment sees Tito Bhoy interviewing guest celeb Melissa Ricks.

And now one of KANDILA's top stories, PABINGO NG MAYNILA, NAGKAGULO NANAMAN! This happened after a game of bingo that caused big trouble.

Lastly, Jayson Gainza tries to eat his food with chopsticks in Tres Kumpares sketch, that is when he's having a bit of a trouble with it.

Sa isang KANDILA

Here it is! On the 2/27/13's Banana Nite, it's the Bandila spoof we've been waiting for! Sa isang KANDILA! Hello? Oh yeah, it's KANDILA! In one of their top stories, CAMPAIGN MATERIALS SA LANSANGAN, NAGKALAT! You know what the Anti-Epal stuff is, right? Guess what? We know what the EPAL in the anti-epal malarkey is... ELECTION POSTERS ARE LOVELY! In short, EPAL.

Also, Ryan Bang checks out the most hillarious pics from FB in ETO NA POST. Pics such as a house's gates been enhanced to keep up with the car's back, a store owner has a sign says KAYA BAWAL ANG UTANG complete with the four signs, sleep-first tsine-last, and a tubero's phone number sign that says CALL ME MAYBE. Funny but solved a lot of problems!

Lastly, Iza Calzado, IHAW NA! Tito Bhoy interviews guest celeb Iza Calzado in the IHAW NA segment.