Melai's tips to defend yourself, or self defense that is

On the October 9 episode of Banana Split, Balitang Siksik Showbiz Edition spices it up some showbiz news from the real to gagged, jokes fit straight to your newspaper, a sketch on getting a coffee to your boss in one minute, the Filipinos, Italians, and Japanese people come laughing with us in another Tongue Tarang Tongue, Ryan Bang shows us what's the meaning of Tae Kwon Do (and Tak Bow Na) in another Kaalamang Nakakahibang, some dances, John Prats explains what if the People's Champ take on new jobs, and of course, saving this before closing this show, a game called "Huwag Kang Lilingon!"

Oh and we forgot that our favorite wise-cracking advise giver, Melai Cantiveros, shows up for tips on how we defend ourselves, or self defense for short, in M3: Melai Mo Magwork. Melai shows us five crazy tips on self-defense. Weird but who knows, Melai Mo Magwork.

5) Rub your eyes to scare the hold-upper with SORE EYES?! (Ewww)

4) If you were from the province, when you're hold-upped, tell him that there's something behind him, put a bayong on the hold-upper's head and attack him the way you move. (Where's the bird?!)

3) Do a flying kick when you're hold-upped but don't attack the hold-upper yet. The super stinky socks will scare the hold-upper because of its super stinky scent. (Ewww)

2) Copycat the holdupper's words until he quits.

1) When you're hold-upped, show the hold-upper a scary photo on your wallet to scare the hold-upper away!

Thanks, Melai! ROFL

If we Filipinos love everything Korean, why GMA made a drama titled "Koreana"?

OK, we admit it. We Filipinos love everything that comes from South Korea. We like everything Korean like for instance K-Pop (Korean Pop) music, the Korean actors and actresses we saw on Korean TV dramas, Korean surplus TV sets, Korean foods such as kimchi, Korean-made Common Rail Diesel engines (CRDi, R-engine, e-VGT engine, those diesel engines coming out from those Kia or Hyundai models), Korean surplus vans such as the Grace, Starex, Besta, and Pregio, and others that are truly Korean.

If we Filipinos like us love everything Korean, then why did GMA decided to create a daytime TV drama titled Koreana?

Coming to air this Monday after Trudis Liit, Koreana centers on a tale of a young girl named Jenna, played by Kris Bernal, a Korean-Filipina who has a hope to return to her homeland to find her real family. There are two men who are revolving the story of a Korean-Filipina. First, there's Benjo, played by Rocco Nacino, and then, there's a half-Korean named Joshua, played by Steven Silva.

Expect everything Korean in this GMA-made daytime TV drama as it airs this Monday. If we Filipinos enjoyed everything came from South Korea, would we enjoy watching this new daytime drama?

Last night packs a bunch of cave people! (and some KTV gags)

Last night's episode of Lokomoko U packs not one, not two, but three parts of the sketch called "B.C. Bisihan" (remember since the Oct. 1 episode, where the cave people's invention of ladder gone jerked?) Well, last night, the cave people made up with the tawiran, the comb, and the invention of the fan. Seems that prehistoric never been this funny.

Aside from that, there were some gags at the Karaoke Bar, the eggs from the Usapang Itlog segment pokes fun about the days of the week (guess eggs hate Fridays because they're cooked!), a maid told her master that his cat was killed, and another round of Pinoy Brainless with JC De Vera and Rainier Castillo.

Oh, and I almost forgot about an episode of the Lokomoko U mini-drama titled Bahaw Ikalawang Hain, where Blue (played by Empoy) and the three blue-colored girls (Luningning, Milagring, and Mariposa) went to some bar that has Blue's name on it. On that part, Empoy, as Blue, sang his version of Don McLean's American Pie, called American Blue. Will Blue find life anew as a folk singer? Find out next week on Bahaw on Lokomoko U!

You guessed it, it's Cheche Bureche again.

On the October 8, 2010 episode of Bubble Gang, there was some boxer gags, the stunt man, ordering a bucket of beers, a Bubble Gang sketch takes on Survivor Philippines, titled Sure Bubble (no wonder Jackie Rice was the slowest), planting some ill feelings (sama ng loob), having fun with Moymoy Palaboy and Roadfill, a manlier martial arts training for men, and three drunk men.

Before the start of episode six of Cheche Bureche, I saw this message:

"Mula sa tradisyon ng mga mag-kaaway na kambal sa Philippine Television gaya ng Luna Mystika at Ilumina...

Narito na ang pinaka bagong bangayan ng half sisters na sina Cheche at Bureche!"

or in English:

"From the tradition of the twin rivalries of Philippine Television such as Luna Mystika and Ilumina...

Here comes the newest rivalry between the half sisters named Cheche and Bureche!"

Sounds catchy? What the fudge is Luna Mystika and Ilumina? I see, they're both TV dramas from GMA. OK, now on to this Cheche Bureche episode:

Cheche (Ogie Alcasid) is watching cartoons, while Bureche (Michael V) tries to slap Cheche, then Dad (Antonio Aquitania) comes home with some painting set for the half sisters. Dad said if whoever has a nice painting, deserves an ice cream.

With dad away, the two start painting art.

Look at Bureche's drawing:

Bureche's drawing

LOL, to think about Bureche's mean personality, she (he) drawn a picture of two tombstones? What the fudge? Bureche's drawing made me laugh!

How about Cheche's drawing?

Cheche's drawing

Cheche said it's so peaceful. So what? That's Cheche's personality, sweet and kind. But suddenly, Bureche does not like Cheche's drawing, so Bureche wants Cheche to ruin her drawing. Then, Dad is back, checking out the half sisters' paintings. Dad thinks that Bureche's drawing is too scary because of the dark color. Now, Dad wants to see Cheche's painting. Cheche can't because of the ruined painting, but she showed it up to Dad. Dad liked Cheche's ruined painting because of the artistic thing kids called it "Finger Painting" for sure.

Cheche's ruined drawing, liked by Dad

Cheche deserves a SPOONFUL OF ICE CREAM! Another week, another AAARRRRGGGGHHHH for Bureche! Makes me wonder if Cheche tries to said "but", Bureche says "wag ka nang mag but-but, i-but-but-but-in kita!"

No wonder Bureche's a mean person.

CR-Z or WRX STi 4-door? For me its...

Honda's first hybrid sports car, the CR-Z

and Subaru's return of the WRX STi 4-door

Both of these cars were JDM, both are sports cars, and both targeted for thrill-seekers. But as for me, which would I rather prefer?

CASE ONE: Since I was getting irritated by the noise coming out of those heavily modified Honda Civics, the CR-Z could be my perfect companion. Most men don't like the CR-Z because of its hybrid drivetrain, sports mode not good enough, and the question of "whatever happened to Honda's sport and specialty cars?" As for me, I like this sports car because its quiet. I don't want to modify this sport hybrid because with those, it will make the CR-Z too noisy and the noisy Hondas irritate me like a disturbed sleeper. I want to keep the CR-Z simple. Even when this sports car is boring, I still going to enjoy it because of its manual transmission. While Honda Cars Philippines has yet to decide when will this car hit our shores, I hope that Emperor Motorsports got the memo and bring the CR-Z as a grey market. If I own it, I promise not to mess it up, because the noise keeps it worse for me, especially the HKS Supercharger for the CR-Z.

CASE TWO: I am a huge fan of the Subaru WRX STi because of its boxer engine, Symmetrical AWD, manual transmission, and everything Scooby fans has to offer. I used to have fun with the WRX STi hatchback because this is fairly unique, but now with the return of the 4-door, things have change. The hatchback version's getting too old for me as the new 4-door version truly kicks it up! With the Nurburgring lap time of 7:55:000, there's no doubt that this is the fastest Subaru ever built. If I had one, would I keep the wing or not? You see, the huge spoiler on the WRX STi sedan truly shows its true self, while the WRX STi 4-door without the wing can be a total blah blah blah, but represents its luxury status.

Verdict: I only like the CR-Z because of its silence but I strongly prefer the WRX STi 4-door because of its awesome performance. I guess when someone reads this, he/she may go for the WRX STi 4-door because its fun to drive than the CR-Z. But let them decide. Its their call.

Honda Fit and Fit RS facelift (GE6/GE7/GE8/GE9) and new Fit Hybrid (GP1)

2011 Honda Fit G/X/RS/Hybrid

Back in 2007, in the wake of the Tokyo Motor Show, Honda unleashed the second-generation Fit (known in other countries as the Jazz) to please Japanese consumers with its compact size good enough to do whatever this car wants. In October 8, 2010, the Honda Fit we once know is now on its second phase, or in JDM terms, Kouki, as we say it. Not only this Kouki Fit showed up in the blue, the wake of the new hybrid version has just arrived to be more fuel efficient than the latest Nissan March K13.

There are four different styles offer for the new Fit/Jazz, allowing consumers to choose which Fit variant fits them based on their qualifications. The Fit G and L offer a simple taste as an entry-level grade, suitable for beginners everywhere. The Fit X offers an enhanced style that looks more of a luxury car, perfect for those who are not enough with the Fit G. The Fit RS is built for precision because of every sporty detail equipped on the sportiest Fit variant built for adrenaline-seekers. The new Honda Fit Hybrid offers the hybrid power train as offered from the Insight and the CR-Z. Do not expect this hybrid version coming to the North American market because the reason remains unknown for now.

On the entry-level Fit variant (G and L), a 1.3L i-VTEC engine is offered for a good fuel efficiency of about 17.2 to 24.5km/L. The 1.5L i-VTEC engine (found in Fit X and RS) offers an increased power output of 120 PS and the fuel economy of about 16.4 to 20km/L. The new Fit Hybrid, on the other hand, is equipped with the MF6 hybrid engine. This engine is 1.3-liter and it is readied with Honda's innovative Integrated Motor Assist. It is capable enough to release an outstanding fuel efficiency of 30km/L that puts the shame on the Nissan March K13's 26km/L fuel efficiency. This means, the Honda Fit Hybrid is the winner in this category when it comes to fuel efficiency. Most Fit variants are equipped with the 5-speed automatic, 5-speed manual, or even CVT. The Fit RS comes with either a 6-speed manual transmission or CVT with Paddle Shifters.

My thoughts about the Fit and Fit Hybrid:

Assuring that the entry-level Fit G and L variants are good enough for the budget-conscious, it would be a good try to take it for a spin. If style was a necessity, the Fit X could be good enough to bring out its star power within reach. The Fit RS is good enough to bring some noise in the neighborhood because of the sporty features and the new 6MT or Paddle Shifters. If someone owns this, the owner will try to bring some high volume noise because this Fit is fun to tune as the Honda Civic! With the Fit Hybrid, designated as "Honda Green Machine 004,” I am glad that this hybrid compact made a warm welcome to the Japanese consumers because the fuel efficiency outperformed the Nissan March K13. Hope all of these Fit variants arrived in the Philippines soon, but not the Fit/Jazz Hybrid because Honda Cars Philippines does not have an announcement to bring Honda Green Machines to our shores. I think the Fit RS could be good enough to have an owner put some Soshinoya badges everywhere because its a JDM!

Which Fit will you drive?

Devotion

Shizuka Ito's first mini-album, Devotion

You remember Shizuka Ito right? She was the seiyuu of one of the sexiest roles in both anime and game such as Hinagiku Katsura from Hayate the Combat Butler, Misa Kakizaki from Mahou Sensei Negima, Kaori Kanzaki from To Aru Majutsu no Index, Tamaki from ToHeart, or even Olga from Misshitsu no Sacrifice.

Seems that she got her first mini-album, titled Devotion, now on sale, with her voice so sexy, you might want to go hear this mini album for another time, especially if you were one of the lucky Shizuka Ito fans who had the special DVD containing a music clip of Shizuka Ito's song titled Last Order, plus behind the scenes footage.

About this mini album, it contains six songs all sung by the seiyuu behind the sexy roles. It consists of the following titles:

1) Yasashii Ryoute
2) Last Order
3) IIdesho
4) Refrain
5) Happy Ending
6) Aikotoba

For me, nothing's too special about those, but the song Last Order sounds too good for me. But let the decision to the rest of the fans.

Subaru Legacy viral campaign pokes fun at some old Kia Optima...

That's odd...

Upon Facebook-ing myself for some Cafe and Mafia, I notice some weird ad about "Mediocrity". I clicked it and it sends me to some site about a very weird old Kia Optima/Magentis labeled Mediocrity. Even the TV ads take part of it.

I checked it out, roaming around stuff, and boy, isn't it weird? Everything beige? What Mediocrity? So when I clicked at some part, it sent me to this:

Subaru Legacy B4

Fight Mediocrity. That's the slogan for the Subaru Legacy from U.S. I mean seriously, manual, Boxer engine, Symmetrical AWD, and not a single speck of beige, is that it? Hmmm... guess Subaru of America got us again!

Mark it as an epic fail because Kia countered it with the new Kia Optima/K5.

Kia K5/Optima (Euro-Spec)

With this new look, I'm sure the Subaru Legacy will be the other Mediocrity, for now. Gotta admit it that both the Subaru Legacy B4 and the Kia K5/Optima are superb and cool. Most 4WD fanatics would go for the Legacy but for those who are interested in Korean cars (like us because of the CRDi engine) would go for the Kia K5.

Volvo V60

2011 Volvo V60

2011 Volvo V60 interior

If you taught that the second-generation Volvo S60 was naughty enough with its innovative City Safety and Pedestrian Detection system, wait until you will get a load on Volvo's naughtiest sport wagon that North Americans will never get. The Volvo V60 does everything naughty as its sedan counterpart do when it comes to stay safe on the road, aside from being the naughtiest wagon ever built.

The design part of the V60 truly celebrates to the new Volvo design language as seen on the Volvo XC60, but in relationship terms, the V60 is the sports tourer version of the second-generation S60. Back then, the V70 used to be the wagon version of the first-generation S60. Now, the V70 looks more like the latest S80 luxury sedan. The V60 name is somewhat new and it is a nice addition to the Volvo wagon line ranging from the S40 and the V70. In conclusion, the V60 seems more like a five-door coupe rather than being called a sports tourer.

As for the interior, the V60 shares the same luxury from the new S60 sedan, only this time, spacing is the prime aspect for the V60. Perfect enough for the adventurers who are going for some trailblazing moments

The Volvo V60 features a wide array of engines available to suit your adventurous needs of naughtiness. With the range consisting of five gasoline engines (T3, T4, 2.0T, T5, T6) and two diesel engines (D3, D5), choosing which naughty engine for the naughty wagon can be a decent strategy. The naughtiest for the naughty Volvo V60 is always the turbocharged engines because not only it delivers a good speed, but also delivers a fun to drive experience. Depending on the engine a six-speed manual, six-speed auto, or Powershift transmission can be equipped. Finding which naughty transmission for the V60 is a great key, but the naughtiest is always the manual transmission.

My thoughts about the V60:
Expect this wagon never come to North America for now because no word for Volvo on bringing this naughty wagon to the U.S., as for the Philippines, no word for Viking Cars yet because the V60 seems too blurry to sell. Do not fret, the S60's City Safety feature will take place being Philippine's naughtiest car, which means, there is no need for us having the V60. However if we want this V60 very soon, could we make a simple request to Viking Cars to distribute the new V60 soon? The answer has yet to be determined, as for that, you have to go all the way to Europe to indulge ourselves in the naughtiest Volvo wagon built for safety.

Imortal - ABS-CBN's answer to Twilight

As teenagers like us getting interested on why vampires and werewolves are bitter enemies, just like the rivalry of favorite Twilight hunks, Edward and Jacob. This time, ABS-CBN's going to premiere the new TV drama about a tale of two lovers from rival beings, a girl who is a werewolf, and a man who is a vampire.

Seems that the rivalry between vampires and werewolves, as remembered by Twilight fans, will be bringing to ABS-CBN in the new drama, Imortal, starring John Lloyd Cruz and Angel Locsin.

It's a coincidence that Angel Locsin will be playing as a wolf again since the 2008 TV drama, Lobo. Never realized it's her second time, while John Lloyd plays as a vampire, but in an Edward kind of way.

This drama also stars one of the finest artists in Philippine TV drama, including Johnny Revilla, Jaime Fabregas (Here Comes the Bride), Jomari Yllana (Palos), Jake Roxas, Rico Blanco, and more. It was directed by Chito S. Rono and Jerry Lopez-Sineneng. Most think that Imortal was a sequel of the 2008 TV drama, Lobo. It portrays about a girl named Lia, daughter of the once-known taong lobo named Lyka. Back in Lobo, this story is about a soldier and a woman who is a werewolf. Imortal is the second part of Lobo.

Expect to see that new drama tonight after Noah! Imortal is the answer to Twilight and Vampire Diaries.

Daihatsu Tanto and Tanto Custom Mk.2 - Minor Change

2011 Daihatsu Tanto

2011 Daihatsu Tanto Custom

No cheese please, because both the second-generation Tanto and Tanto Custom received a mild facelift, that is when you check both of these tall kei cars out from top to bottom. The regular Tanto doesn't do more of a mild refresh, that is that it gain a new color called "Muscat Green Metallic". This lime-like color is perfectly suitable enough to be called cute. On the sportier Tanto version called the Tanto Custom, the front view gets even more aggressive with its new grille and bumper. A new color is added on the Tanto Custom, that is called "Bronze Olive Pearl Metallic, giving this sporty kei car a touch of class.

Now, all Tanto variants offer in just one transmission, CVT. What remains is the same fuel efficiency of 21.0km/L (18.2km/L for the Tanto Custom RS) in both FF and 4WD variants.

My thoughts about the Tanto:
Keeping the only kei car with the "Miracle Open Door" up-to-date is a key point for the Daihatsu Tanto and Tanto Custom. New look, same features, so no cheese for me please. As always, the regular Tanto is suited for the simple Japanese family while the Tanto Custom is preferable in the eyes of a sophisticated enthusiast looking for some style. My pick would be the Tanto Custom because of its handsome look only this kei car would offer, but the Tanto Exe Custom's look declares "I'm a flagship kei car" for sure.



Photo: Daihatsu

Renault Megane III Berline/Coupe/Estate/Coupe-Cabriolet GT

2011 Renault Megane III Berline/Coupe/Estate/Coupe-Cabriolet GT

Following the success of the Renault Sport Megane last year, Renault unleashed a completely new breed of Megane that releases the sporty character within reach. The Renault Megane III GT range (in 5-door hatchback, 3-door coupe, estate, and coupe-cabriolet) releases a sporty character ranging from its aggressive exterior, sporty dark interior, and two engine types available to show how good are those French soldiers are on the streets of Paris.

On the design side, the Renault Megane GT shows its aggressive character via bumpers, GT badge, dark interior, sports pedal set, analogue rev-counter, 18-inch dark metal rims, and everything similar to the Renault Sport Megane. For those who cannot afford a 30,000 Euro Renault Sport Megane, this might be a good chance to try its cheaper alternative to the sportiest Megane ever built by the French automaker.

Two available engines are available for the Renault Megane GT such as the TCe 180 gasoline engine and the dCi 160 diesel engine. A TCe gas engine is built for maximum enjoyment while the dCi diesel engine is built for fuel efficiency. Both are Euro 5 compliant and equipped with the standard six-speed manual transmission. With the manual transmission armed and ready for the Megane GT, this car will surely be a fun to drive experience for adults.

My thoughts about the Megane GT:

The wow factor for the Megane GT is somewhat be 85% and our pogi points for this ride would go as much as 85 points because only hardcore Europeans are welcomed to try out the exciting addition of the Renault Megane series. These fun factors will surely leave you sweating with excitement once you step inside the Renault Megane GT. Forget about getting the air conditioner on; the sporty character will leave you scorched and makes you want to drive it again for maximum enjoyment.