BMW X3 M and X4 M vs. Audi RS Q3 range

The BMW M lineup has gained some unexpected additions in the form of the current generation X3 and X4 crossovers and with the new X3 M and X4 M high-performance crossovers, a lot of people wish that they could have done it right from the very beginning but since better late than never, time to flip the whys and the X-files on the newest BMW M crossovers.

2020 BMW X3 M

2020 BMW X4 M

The first-ever BMW X3 M, starting at 70,300 Euros plus OTR, and the X4 M, starting at 72,500 Euros plus OTR, are the most affordable SUVs in the BMW M lineup, making them cheaper to own than the upcoming X5 M and X6 M. For starters, they look broadly similar to your basic X3 and X4 but because this is the M we're talking, you'd expect this to be as macho and hot as your basic M3 and M4 but no. They're a lot more different than that.

Yes, both these models are macho in looks and smell like aftershave on the inside, but what's underneath them is worth asking. It uses a 3.0L straight-6 Double VANOS Twin Power Turbo engine, which is almost identical to the BMW M3 and M4 but in the range-topping Competition spec, which produces 510PS of power and 600Nm of torque. Mated to an 8-speed AT, it goes from 0-100kph in 4.1 seconds, and its top speed is electronically limited to 250kph. 285 with the optional extra, of course.

Because most believe the X3 is like the 3-Series of the SUV lineup, you might imagine that M crossovers like these, might behave like the already great BMW M3 but no. They're bulkier than the M3 of course and they handle very differently compared to the M3 it draws inspiration from. On the plus side, since being a BMW, they're not afraid to get its drivers hooked for more and if they want some competition, perhaps they should face these;

2020 Audi RS Q3

2020 Audi RS Q3 Sportback

This is Audi's answer to the little BMW M crossovers mentioned above. This is the all-new RS Q3 range and this is what happens when the folks from Audi Sport decided to make them behave like Russian Olympians that will get them to trouble easily but sadly, they're not Russian Olympians. They're just like high school ladies in two-piece swimsuits enjoying the pool.

The RS Q3 starts at 63,500 Euros plus OTR while the Sportback equivalent starts at 65,000 Euros plus OTR, making them cheaper to own than the almost bonkers BMW X3/X4 M but don't let the pricing fool you because although cheaper to own than those above, they can be quite troublesome for those who got their hands on.

The 2.5L TFSi engine that powers the RS Q3 range produces 400PS of power and 480Nm of torque and when mated to a 7-speed S tronic, it gets from 0-100kph in four and half seconds and with the optional extra, up to 280kph of top speed. In other words, they're a lot slower than the BMW X3/X4 M in a middle of a drag race.

Handling-wise? The RS Q3 can be downright mild and tangy but it feels downright easy to drive on the road and on the track. Sure, you can take them on the dirt but why would you want to in the RS Q3? Anyway, these crossovers are almost as enjoyable to drive as the TT RS, I'm still jealous to have one but it's too late because with the TT RS meeting its maker, these RS crossovers are surely to blame for this.

Which would you go for? The powerful but expensive BMW X3/X4 M or the less powerful but less expensive and sensible RS Q3 range?

Photo: BMW AG/Audi AG

Audi RS Q3 and VW cross up!

2014 Audi RS Q3

What Audi did is take an ordinary Q3 on the nightclub, strip out most of its dignity like watching and paying for girls dancing, and then the result for all of those beer breath hangover is this; a crossover running from the law like what teenagers running away from the public with a bag snatched from a lady, some drugs hidden in his pants, and remain as anonymous as Guy Fawkes. This, ladies and gentlemen, is the brand new Audi RS Q3.

The normal Q3 is made for the sort of people who realize that they are the sort of geek or nerd trying to think smart and act smart, like any dorky high-IQ morons in their skinny jeans, suspenders, polos, and dorky glasses. Whoever came here gets the bulls from the bullies and later on gets flushed down to the toilet. We're not talking about that but the Q3 really suits the description well because it's just one of the tall hatchbacks many people wanted to buy for no reason. This whole crossover trend, those fakey and phoney hatchbacks claim to be SUVs, it always here to stay and that really creeps me out. Anyway, what's this all about the RS version?

This is like when you turn a nerd into a ladies' man by giving him lots of adrenaline, not by steroids but taking him on a wild ride on a theme park like roller coasters, bumper cars, anything highriding that thrills him. That's true, it is an adrenaline-induced tall hatchback made by the skunk works lurking through the bowels of Quattro GmBH.

2014 Audi RS Q3 interior

Audi claims that this is the first ever SUV to get the RS treatment by quattro but to me this isn't an SUV indeed. The thing is though that the whole idea of having a high-performance SUV is by turning it from a family-friendly car into a car only selfies want to start some bar brawls by night. Think of it like Patrick Swayze's Road House in a mindless kind of way. Road House...

Under the bonnet, the RS Q3 is powered by the same sort of engine you'd expect from the old 2012 Audi RS3 Sportback. It develops 310PS of power and 420Nm of torque. 310PS of power...that's about 8PS less than the Lexus IS350 but still, the RS Q3 has a 0-100kph time of 5.5 seconds and top speed normally limited to 250kph. That sounds like a countdown to a disaster, much more like, well you know...

What about the way it handles? For a crossover like this, the RS Q3 really is worth a juvenile streak and because it's 4WD, handling never felt so...so...well, modest. It doesn't want to kill you like most high-powered sportscars do but still, it's worth a smile indeed to the driver's senses. Think of it like...salad preparation, the Brainiac way. You're making a salad with the use of pencil sharpener, a guillotine, and a paper shredder. Hmmm...convincing if you ran out of knives for chopping but it leaves out with some paper shreddings and pencil shavings. Ick!

If by ick, I mean of course, it's worth terrible to drive one of those if you were in the middle of a trip to groceries or to the mall because if you do, people might think you're just another one of people who spent the government's pork barrel for no reason at all and the authorities might get you noticed. There's another problem with the RS Q3 because hey, while it's worth exciting to drive, it's definitely not quite the weekend car for a treat and because Audi spent so much making it too sporty, being a weekend car is a bit of a contraband because it makes you upset more than your Photoshop teacher in class. Ouch...

But still, the biggest problem for the RS Q3 is of course, the price and since it starts at 54,600 Euros, twice as expensive as the regular Q3 but as a general rule, it's the most affordable RS model for now because when you look at the price list for Audi models, the RS Q3 costs less than the present Audi RS model. The most expensive so far was the very serious RS7 Sportback with the pricing of 113,000 Euros.

So yes, the new RS Q3, it maybe more of a value than any other Audi RS but what you get for what you pay for is a Q3 with too much power that doesn't make any sense. Too much power for a crossover? Hmmm... Where did I get that idea? Never mind about that, but if I want more fun out for the buck, it might be best not to have one of these but instead, I should be getting one of these...

2014 Volkswagen cross up!

2014 Volkswagen cross up! interior

Yep, just another tall hatchback but this time in the form of the Volkswagen up! compact car, the small car worth enjoyable enough if you want to play a game of badminton out of it. It's called the cross up! and this model starts at around 13,950 Euros and you don't need to have too much stuff that the Audi RS Q3 had. Sure, the RS Q3 maybe a crossover which has the strength of a crossbow but it's a bit too much and with the cross up!, you're not the sort of person who spends most of the pork barrel, you're just a busy man out with some casuals for casual Friday. Since it's not Friday, it's a bit of a casual everyday if I'm honest.

With the 1.0L engine from the normal up! compact, it develops about 75PS of power, extremely less than the RS Q3 but unlike the RS Q3, it's not very thirsty indeed because it has about 21.3km/L of fuel economy. Not bad though, not bad. Even though it's too small and it's too slow, the cross up won't definitely kill you more than the RS Q3.

So, in conclusion, the RS Q3 is worth the fun but if it's too much, better downgrade yourself to the cross up! instead because sometimes, the smallest can rest easily on the road like a baby carried by a stork. Quite a tearjerker to end this impression here...