MINI Paceman

In a not too distant past, I always point that the MINI Countryman is the MINI I always hate not only because by the looks of it, well because it's quite an ugly looking MINI, but it's because it had so much vile and hateful things about it. (whispers) Especially when it showed up on Gran Turismo 5. It's all terrible rubbish but for MINI, they've launched a new version. Hmmm...

2014 MINI Paceman

(eating)

Oh, hey! Sorry, I was just eating my favorite chicken mamon inside but anyway what you're looking up here is the MINI Paceman, a new model from MINI which is essentially a three door version of the car I really hate about because of numerous reasons. A quick reminder about the Mini Countryman is simple, about how I really hate about because if I was a girl and if I put on my Punkish Gothic costume, the Countryman says OFF LIMITS. Why OFF LIMITS? Because (whispering) Countrymans hate people who dressed as Punkish Gothics. Also what I hate about the Countryman is for people who think bowties, fezzes, and stetsons are cool. (laughing) Really? Well, these are some of the reasons why I hate about the Countryman. If you were a girl who puts on her Punkish Gothic costume, you are not invited. If you are moron who thinks bowties, fezzes, and stetsons are cool, you are invited.

For this three-door version of the Countryman, called the PACEMAN, I would expect the same feeling that I'd expect on the MINI Countryman except for one thing. The name PACEMAN doesn't sound like Pacman or a spaceman as Donna Noble from Doctor Who might yell to The Doctor four little words "Oi, Watch It Spaceman!" on the telly. This is exactly I might wanna tell exactly about this car. Ahem...OI, WATCH IT PACEMAN!.(laughing) Now you try!

Anyway, it's worth a try yelling four little words Donna Noble or Catherine Tate told you on the telly but it would best if you are an "earth girl" and your partner's a "spaceman". Ah yes, spaceman and earth girl in a Paceman. Pun intended, right? Yes, indeed. Pun intended but as a driver's car, there are so many issues regarding the Paceman.

First of all, the Paceman is not quite a good looking MINI I have ever seen in my life but question is, do you hate it more than you hate the look of the Nissan Juke? Only one way to find out, just park the Paceman right next to the Nissan Juke and when you got out, you really knew how much horrible these two were. Also, getting inside the Paceman is simple on the front but access to the rear seats is far too complicated. Besides, the rear seats have a very few legroom and sitting through the rear seats can be someone as idiotic as filling up a car with a bunch of people who doesn't care about driving this car at all. It's not quite an effective family car if you have a family because it only seats up to four people and an average family has about five to seven.

2014 MINI Paceman

If you're in a mood for a normal ice cream that you bought from your neighborhood bakery, you can have a 1.6L or a 1.6L petrol engine but if you're at home and if you're waiting for the bell ringinig from a person who sells dirty ice cream, then you're the sort of person who chose either a 1.6L or 2.0L diesel engines. Those powerful and efficient engines doesn't seem bad but as for the handling, this is about as harsh as studying all night for some meaningless tests, especially finals. This kind of metaphor also applies on the ALL4 models of the Paceman because I can also expect the same kind of stress as doing next week's homework or reciting something for some meaningless "graded recitation". Geez, I really don't like graded recitations when I was in my school days. Graded recitations really put out the worst for students. He he he...

So, the MINI Paceman, like the Countryman, is rubbish to drive, interior's too uncomfortable, as stressful as a final exam that you took when you were at school, and overall, I still had the same feeling I'd expect from my most hated car of all time but question is, do you hate this Paceman more than its high-performance model?

2014 MINI John Cooper Works Paceman

It's a John Cooper Works model of the Paceman. It has a turbocharged engine that develops 218hp of power, 6-speed manual standard with optional 6-speed auto, ALL4, and some sporting credentials expected from other JCW models. It does 0-100kph in 6.9 seconds and flatout in an estimated 226kph. Do you think I need to appreciate this high-performance version of the car which is a three door version of a MINI I really hate because it's OFF LIMITS for those who are in Punkish Gothic costumes and only those who think bowties, stetsons, and fezzes are cool are welcomed? Let me think about it but in a meantime, as the Got Talent judges might say, it's a NO. Uh-huh, it's a no. Sorry...