Of gladiators and weddings...

On the July 1, 2012 episode of Lokomoko U ANG KULIT!

- Gladiator gags

- Wedding gags

- Tres Kunehos are doing idiotic stuff at the hospital

Lokomoko goes boxing....

So, Iwa Moto, Princess Ryan, Ritz Azul & Patani guested on the June 17, 2012 episode of Lokomoko U ANG KULIT, eh? Let's see what just happened....

- Boxing gags

- Tanong Ko Lang Kulang...Kung ang taong natatakot ay dinadaga, ang daga bang natatakot ay tinatao?

- VIOLENTE...VIOLENTE...Sumasagot ng telephone...VIOLENTE....VIOLENTE...

- Father's Day Messages from the Lokomoko U gang

- Behind the scenes interview gags

- Tanong Ko Lang Kulang...Ang gagambang bahay ba ay pwedeng tumira sa apartment?

- Some Bird Talk in THE AWESOME SHOW

- Tanong Ko Lang Kulang...Marunong bang manahi ang tutubing karayom?

- Gags for the dads

Lokomoko in Boracay

So, it's April Fool's Day but the Lokomoko doesn't want to get affected by some April Fools jokes because they were out for their Boracay trip. However, the title reverted back to Lokomoko U, and we're not joking because they mean it. And I do mean, a cast roster of Wendell Ramos, Tuesday Vargas, JC De Vera, Arci Munoz, Alwyn Uytingco, Eula Caballero, Edgar Allan Guzman, Empoy, Rainier Castillo, Valeen Montenegro, Long Mejia, Caloy Alde, Milagring, Mariposa, Luningning, and the Voyz Avenue. We're just getting started!

TANONG KO LANG KULANG...

1) Kung ang halo-halo ba hindi mo hinalo, halo-halo pa din ito?

2) Ang summer class ba ay klase tungkol sa summer?

3) Bakit tinatawag silang dressed chicken eh nakahubad naman?

4) Pwede bang mag sun bathing sa gabi?

...aside from those Boracay-related gags, it seems that Awesome Marie Chan sticks around for another Awesome Show and she interviews some famous songwriter named Mr. Ray Barela

Nandito ako lagi sa ulo mo pero hindi mo naman ako napapansin

Oh no! The March 25, 2012 episode of Lokomoko has been reverted back to Rated SPG!! Anyway, what's what?

- Baptism gags

- Delivery Room gags

- Tanong ko lang, kulang...Kung ikaw ang bestman sa kasal, bakit hindi ikaw ang pinakasalan

- Kiddie playtime gags

- Lokomersyal in Joel Bangs Salon

- Tanong ko lang, kulang...Ang keyboard at keypad ba nakakabukas ng kandado?

- Tanong ko lang, kulang...Kailangan ba palaging masaya pag happyhour?

- Tanong ko lang, kulang...May nabibili bang junkfood sa junkshop?

- Who's Line Is It Anyhow?!

1) Masaya ako tuwing sinasayawan mo ako - Dance Floor

2) I've lived a life that's full, i've travelled each and every highway, but more, much more than this...I did it my way. - Bus Driver

3) I planned each chartered course, each careful step along the byway. And more, much more than this, I did it my way. - Hiker

4) Nandito ako lagi sa ulo mo pero hindi mo naman ako napapansin - Balakubak

Uh-oh....

5) Hindi lahat ng bola pinaglalaruan - Fishball

6) Kaya ka naliligaw ng landas ay dahil ayaw mong maniwala sa akin - Mapa

7) I've loved, I've laughed and cried, I've had my fill, my share of losing...and now as tears subside, I find it all so amusing - Sisa

Some dwende are making tuso at Lokomoko

On the March 18, 2012 episode of Lokomoko (on its Rated PG state)....

- Dwarf gags

- Tanong ko lang, kulang...pwede bang magtinda ng kotse sa garage sale?

- Another shooting gags on Lokomoko...

- Tanong ko lang, kulang...meron bang itlog ang eggplant?

- Lokomersyal in Instant Housing Authority!

- Tanong ko lang, kulang...kung gulay ang kinakain ng vegetarian, ano ang kinakain ng humanitarian?

- Tirsong Tuso tries to win the heart of the general's daughter but the general does a favor to Tirsong Tuso; make him walk again! This involves hurting the general and almost anyone...

- Tanong ko lang, kulang...kung may highway, meron bang low way?

- Tanong ko lang, kulang...may apple ba ang pineapple?

- Who's Line Is It Anyhow?!

1) Hindi lahat ng thirteen ay malas! - 13th Month Pay

2) Ramdam na ramdam ko ang init mo lalung lalo na kapag iniipit mo na ako. - Thermometer

3) Hindi naman ako hinete pero palagi na lang ako nasa ibabaw ng kabayo - Plantsa

Ay Mali!!!

4) Maluwag naman ang dinadaanan ko pero bakit patagilid pa rin ang lakad ko? - Alimango

5) Hindi lahat ng party ay masaya! - 3rd party

6) Huwag mo na akong gugulatin, mawawala ako. - Sinok

7) Masaya pa kayo tuwing nagstrike kayo!!! - Bowling

Mido is the best milk!

Okay, what's up from the March 4, 2012, episode of the now-rated-SPG Lokomoko?

- Jungle gags

- Tanong ko lang, kulang...Kung ang INA ang ilaw ng tahanan, pumapatak din ba siya sa metro ng kuryente?

- Tanong ko lang, kulang...Kapag ninakaw ba ng may-ari ang gamit na ninakaw sa kanya, magnanakaw na rin siya?

- Lokomersyal in Mido Milk! Mido Milk is the best milk ever!

Mido Milk

- Tanong ko lang, kulang...Pang bading lang ba ang parlor games?

- Some traitors are around the Katipunan...

- Tanong ko lang, kulang...Kung ang saging may puso, nasasaktan din ba ang kanyang damdamin?

- Who's Line Is It...Anyhow?!

1) You blew me away on your special day - Birthday Cake

2) Forever na lang ba akong magbabantay ng bukid? - Scarecrow

3) Ale, nasa langit na ba ako? Boss, kayo po ba si San Pedro? - Rugby Boy

4) Bakit gustong gusto mo ako kainin pero hindi mo naman ako kayang lunukin? - Chess Piece

5) Pinag-aagawan niyo ba ako para matira niyo lang ako? - Bola ng basketball

6) Bakit ba lahat nalang gusto niyong masagap ko? - Antenna

7) Time, I've been passing time, watching trains go by. All of my life... - Guard sa MRT

To keep you moaning, Lokomoko is rated SPG

Sorry for how the heck a normal Rated PG show like Lokomoko got upgraded to a rated SPG, that is STRICT PARENTAL GUIDANCE. We don't know how the MTRCB used the word SPG but what the heck, what just happened on the February 26, 2012 episode?

- Portrait gags

- Tanong ko lang, kulang...Paano nailagay ang KEEP OFF THE GRASS sign sa gitna ng damuhan?

- Bank Robbery is the PERFECT CRIME but their ambitions aren't perfect

- Tanong ko lang, kulang...Anong prutas ba talaga ang flavor ng JUICY FRUIT?

- Tanong ko lang, kulang...Pwede bang mag skinny dipping ang matabang tao?

- Tanong ko lang, kulang...Kung lahat ng palabas ay kailangan ng patnubay at gabay ng magulang, may matatapos pa kayang gawain si nanay?

- Albularyo gags

- Tanong ko lang, kulang...Sa sinehan, anong arm rest ang sa iyo?

- Tanong ko lang, kulang...Kung ang tao ay nag-evolve galing sa unggoy, bakit may unggoy pa din ngayon?

- Who's Line Is It Anyhow?!

1) Kaylan kaya tayo magkikita? - Bulag

2) Araw araw na lang isang kahig isang tuka! - Manok

3) Hindi nawawala ang asim ko! - Suka

4) Kayo ang boss ko - Empleyado

5) Wow! Biglang-bigla ang laki mo na?! - Telescope

6) Ang pangit daw ng pelikula! Tara mga kasama, panoorin natin! - Langaw

7) Fancy meeting you along in the crowd, couldn't help but notice your smile. While everybody else around is going about, can we just stop and talk a while... - Ahente ng Condo sa Mall

...a public service announcement from Buwaya Foundation

What just happened on the February 19, 2012 episode of Lokomoko?

- Order! Order! The Lokomoko Gags are now in session! Guilty! Not Guilty! (The Court of Appeal may not mind this...)

- Tanong ko lang, kulang...Bakit ang munggo kapag tumubo ay toge na ang tawag?

- Lokomerysal in a public service announcement from Buwaya Foundation

- Tanong ko lang, kulang...Nagkakasakit din ba ang ipis kapag nadapuan sila ng kapwa ipis?

- Tanong ko lang, kulang...Ano ang tawag sa tutong kapag nasunog ito?

- Tanong ko lang, kulang...Malakas ba ang appeal ng mga taga Court of Appeal?

- Sinong may sala?

- Tanong ko lang, kulang...Bakit sa hearing kailangan kang sumagot, 'di ba dapat nakikinig lang?

- Tanong ko lang, kulang...Bakit nakaup ang taong nasa witness stand?

- Who's Line Is It...Anyhow?!

1) Lagi niyo nalang akong pinapakagat - Pustiso

2) Bakit pag tinitignan mo ako, lagi ka na lang napapaisip? - Kisame

3) Huwag niyo akong tawaging aso! Hindi ako aso! - Hotdog

4) Kailangan mo ba akong tapaktapakan para makarating ka sa pupuntahan mo? - Tsinelas

5) Eh ano kung hindi kita mapatawad? Tao lang din kasi ako! - Tindera

6) Basta hindi mo kakalimutan ang cut ko sa sweldo mo, magkakasundo tayo - B.I.R.

7) Listen, do you want to know a secret? Do you promise not to tell? Woooh...closer, let me whisper in your ear, say the words you long to hear. - Tsismosa

Jango Katol!

Special guest Wendell Ramos hangs out again on the February 12, 2012 episode of Lokomoko with some moments include;

- Flower shop gags

- Tanong ko lang, kulang...Paano pinatutuyo ang super dry beer?

- Lokomersyal in Jango Katol

Jango Katol

- Tanong Ko Lang, Kulang...Nangingitlog ba ang eggplant?

- Tanong Ko Lang, Kulang...Pwede bang kainin ng mabagal ang fastfood?

- Johnny Bobo strikes back and this time, he's dealing with a woman who loves a laugh

- Tanong Ko Lang, Kulang...Bakit kahit hindi pasko, may parol sa bilangguan?

- It's BUANG FOR ALL, ALL FOR BUANG again...

- and it's WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYHOW?!

1) Makibaka! Huwag matakot! - Baka

2) Sorry kung makapal ako lahat kasi alam ko - Dictionary

3) Nasasaktan ako tuwing tinatanong mo kung mahal ka niya o hindi - Petals ng bulaklak

4) Aanhin pa ang damo kung patay na ako? - Adik

5) Lagi akong may ka-table - Chair

6) Kadalasan, hndi maganda ang balita ko sa'yo, pero yun ang binabayaran mo sa akin, hindi ba? - Doctor

7) Ako ang tunay na number 1! - Number One

Buang for all, all for Buang!

Special guest, Wendell Ramos, stayed here for an extra day for some "more fun in Lokomoko" on that February 5, 2012 episode. Let's see what just happened;

- Tropical bar gags

- Johnny Bobo tries to clean up the manyakis' act!

- Tanong ko lang, kulang...Kinukuto rin ba ang mga kuto?

- Tanong ko lang, kulang...Ano ang isasagot mo sa magulang mo kapag tinanong ka na anong klaseng bata ka ba?

- Lokomersyal in UNO Sardines! Ang sardinas na hindi siksikan. UNO sardines! Ang sardinas na loner! UNO Sardines! Ang sardinas na nag-iisa!

UNO Sardines

- Tanong ko lang, kulang....Ano ang totooong kulay ng hunyango?

- Lokomoko does "Juan for all, all for Juan" in something they called it BUANG FOR ALL, ALL FOR BUANG!

- Who's Line Is It Anyhow?!

1) Please lang! Huwag na kayong maasar sa akin dahil deny ako ng deny. - Embassy

2) You turn me on every night - Switch ng ilaw

3) Uhaw na uhaw ka na naman sa akin noh? - Tubig

4) Dati takot na takot ka sa akin, ngayon panay na kalabit mo. - Mouse

5) Lahat ay kaya kong ibuwis sa Pilipino - BIR

6) Bakit ba lagi na lang nagdidilim ang paningin mo sa akin? - Shades

7) Ako naman ang tiga tuwid ng lahat ng gusto mo eh - Plantsa

MEOW SIOPAO!

What just happened on the January 28, 2012 episode of Lokomoko?

- Office gags

- Tanong ko lang, kulang...Bakit ba tinawag na driving shoes? Sila ba ang sapatos na nakakapagdrive?

- E Tan Ong is back to answer some daily questions!

- Tanong ko lang, kulang...Tumatakbo ba ang mga fastfood?

- Tanong ko lang, kulang...Hotcake pa rin ba ang tawag mo sa hotcake kahit lumamig na ito?

- Lokomersyal in Meow Siopao! Mapapahiyaw ka talaga!

Meow Siopao

- Tanong ko lang, kulang...Pwede bang hindi tumakbo sa runway?

- Awesome Roces returns as well with Awesome Marie Chan on another Awesome Show. This time, an interview with Tom Dela Cruz (Empoy) who enjoyed his success in baking as well as his assistant, Bread Pete (guest star Wendell Ramos).

- And it all wraps the the show with Whose Line Is It Anyhow?!

1) Sana sagutin mo ako - Test Paper

2) Wala akong mukhang inihaharap - Batok

3) Pangako, no brownout! - Motel

4) Ang kalusugan ay kayamanan - Fans ni Sharon

5) Hindi ko kayo kakilala, pero naalala nyo ako kapag gipit kayo! - Sanglaan

6) Subukan mo akong hilahin at mag-iingay ako! - Kampana

7) ZZZZZZZZZZZ....ZZZZZZZZ - Sleeping Beauty

Lokomoko in Palawan...again.

Guess their Lokomoko day-off last week wasn't enough and in fact, they decided to give it another go on the January 22, 2012 episode of Lokomoko. These include;

- Beach gags

- Tanong ko lang, kulang...Kumakain din ba ng maalat ang langgam?

- Lokomersyal in Gaynebra! Ang inumin ng hindi tunay na lalaki!

Gaynebra

- Tanong ko lang, kulang...Bakit ang palad hindi umiitim kahit gaano katagal maarawan?

- Restaurant gags

- Tanong ko lang, kulang...Ano sa tagalog ang High tide at Low tide?

- Lokomerysal in Broom Broom Walis! Ang Walis ng Matutulis!

Broom Broom Walis

- Tanong ko lang, kulang...Pwede bang sabawan ang tuyo?

- Some poolside gags

- Lokomersyal in KaNORR Dog Cubes!

- Tanong ko lang, kulang...Pwede bang sa harap ilagay ang back pack?

- Tanong ko lang, kulang...Ang liquid paper ba ay gawa sa tunaw na papel?

- What the Lokomentado crew are saying about Charice?

- Lokomersyal in LOLO ADULT DIAPERS! ANYTIME! ANYWHERE!

Lolo Adult Diapers

- Tanong ko lang, kulang...Bakit boxing ring ang tawag sa boxing ring, eh square naman ito?

Lokomoko in Palawan

Those guys in Lokomoko are taking a day off at Palawan on this January 15, 2012 episode and yes, while they were enjoying their Palawan getaway, they still yank out some laughs while they were there.

They can pull out some gags while riding a boat, a Tanong Ko Lang, Kulang question that goes "Nauuhaw ba ang isda?", an ordinary life at Microtel Puerto Princesa, another Tanong Ko Lang, Kulang question that goes "Meron bang crash course sa driving school?", then "Kaanu-ano ba ni Dora the Explorer si Internet Explorer?", after that, the Lokomoko gang pull out some gags at the resort, then another Tanong Ko Lang, Kulang question that says "Bakit tinawag na bubble gum yun? Nakakabula ba ng gilagid yun pag nginuya mo?", and Awesome Marie Chan returns for some more talk in The Awesome Show.

These are some of the things the Lokomoko cast spend their time-off in Palawan.

More Awesome Lokomentados!

What just happened on the January 8, 2012 episode of Lokomoko?

- Fiesta gags

- The Lokomentado crew carefully examine about what's what with Jose Manalo...

- Tanong Ko Lang Kulang...Ang coconut oil, galing sa coconu;, ang olive oil, galing sa olive; eh ang baby oil, saan galing?

- Awesome Marie Chan is back for another Awesome Show and this time, she talks with experts dealing about Philippine geographies.

- The Lokomentado crew asks about what's what with Sugar Mercado

- Tanong Ko Lang Kulang...teethbrush ba ang plural ng toothbrush?

- Whose Line Is It Anyhow?!

1) Kayang kaya kong patulugin si Manny Pacquiao! - Sleeping Pills

2) Tulad ko ay di biro, maghapong nakayuko, di naman makatayo, di rin makaupo - Kuba

3) Sabit lang kayo ng sabit sa akin! - Sampayan

4) Di tao, di hayop, may pakpak at naninipsip ng dugo - Napkin with wings

5) Titigil lang kayo kung namumula ako - Traffic Light

6) Hindi ako tsismoso, pero alam niyo ba ang balita? - Dyaryo

7) Nakakainis naman, dikit kayo ng dikit sa akin! - Pandikit

MERRY CHRISTMAS LOKOMOKO!

The Christmas Day (December 25, 2011) episode of Lokomoko has guests Wilma Doesn't, Rodjun Cruz, Wendy Valdez, and Meg Imperial joining the fun with the Lokomoko cast to poke fun such as random gags that does not relate to the Christmas season, a "Tanong Ko Lang, Kulang" question that goes "Ang Tambay kaya, pinangarap maging tambay?", what are they talking about Assunta De Rossi's answers in Lokomentado, Dr. Long Mejia helps out Wanlu and his puppet's problems as well as someone whose favorite song is Santa Claus Is Coming To Town, and of course, a good game of Whose Line Is It Anyhow;

1) Ipatatanggal ko ang balls ko pagkatapos ng bagong taon! Tandaan nyo yan! - XMAS TREE

2) Bakit kahit malayo na ako sa iyo, ayaw mo pa rin akong pakawalan? - Saranggola

3) Bakit kaunti lang ang umuunawa ng sulat ko? - Stenographer

4) Bakit ba pare-pareho na lang ang tingin mo sa amin? - Uniform

5) Bakit ka ba ninenerbiyos kapag tumataas na ako? - Blood Pressure

6) Palagi na lang kayo naghuhubo kapag nakita niyo ako! - Toilet Bowl/Inidoro

7) Bakit ba tuwing dumadaang ako, palagi niyo na bang akong pinuputukan? - New Year

English speaking involved on Lokomoko

What just happened at December 18, 2011 episode of Lokomoko?

- Christmas in the Snow gags. English Speaking involved.

- Another Lokomentado segment and this time the crew are commenting about Jenny Miller's answers.

- Another dramatic episode of Babuyan where Donya Martha demands an ultimatum to Pedring and the whole family to leave in order to save Pedring's piglet.

- Another Lokomentado segment where the gang asks about Rodjun Cruz's answers

- Whose Line is it Anyhow?!

1) Close naman tayo hindi ba? Natutulog nga ako kung saan ka natutulog. Kinakain ko ang kinakain mo. Kahit saan ka pumunta, nandoon din ako. Bakit gusto mo akong paalisin? - Bulate

2) Kaya kitang apak-apakan at sipa-sipain! - Paa

3) Ano ba?! Wag niyo akong hipun...Nakakahiya!!! - Makahiya

4) Type na type ko ang sulat mo! - Typewriter

5) Lagi na lang akong buy 1 take 1! - Medyas/Sapatos

6) Sabi nila may tililing ako - Bell

7) Ikaw ang bugaw ko! - Langaw

Awesome Lokomentado Show!

What just happened at the December 11, 2011 episode of Lokomoko?

- Some Noche Buena gags at the province (with butt-kicking involved)

- Time for some Awesome talk with Awesome Marie Chan in Awesome Show. Here, Awesome Marie Chan talks to some doctor about a different kind of disease...

Awesonme MArie Chan

Dra. Marquez

Julius

- Time for another LOKOMENTADO. This time, the presenters asking about Danita's answers whether you agree or not!

- Tensions rise in another Babuyan; this time, Pedring realized that one of his pigs at his babuyan talked! Or is it?! Then, Pedring's piglet was pig-napped by the mob.

- Special guest, Wilma Doesn't, is back for hosting Whose Line Is It Anyhow?!

1) Minsan lang ako pumasok sa bahay mo pero di mo'ko makakalimutan! - Magnanakaw

2) Naalala mo ako kapag birthday mo pero ikinahihiya mo ako pag tinatanong ka? - Edad

3) Hindi lang baklita ang kabit ang laging nakaupo sa papag - Laptop

4) Lagi na lang akon naiipit - bookmark

5) Laging nakatingin sa akin ang mga ligawin - Mapa

6) Ano ngayon kung binababuy ko ang sarili ko? - Baboy

7) Sige subukan mo ako! Patay ka sa akin! - Lason

LOKOMENTADO

What just happened on the December 4, 2011 episode of Lokomoko?

- Christmas shopping gags

- In LOKOMENTADO, they interviewed Joey Marquez, and how will the LOKOMENTADO crew speak up about it

- Dr. Long M.D. is in the house again! This time, he deals with some woman who loves the song Banana Boat

- In another spine-tingling episode of Babuyan, guess who's got the car stereo? Angela's family! Guess who lost the bet? Margaret!

- Whose Line Is It Anyhow?!

1) Bakit ba galit kayo tuwing nag-oovertime ako sa trabaho? - Willie Revillame

2) Ako ang pinaka una sa mga talunan - 2nd Place

3) Wala na kayong ginawa kundi sagut-sagutin ako! - Crossword Puzzle

4) Nag all the way na nga ako, tinulugan mo lang ako! - Jojo A.

5) Katawa ko lang ang habol nyo sa akin - Hipon

6) Dahil sa kaka email nyo, nawalan ako ng trabaho - Kartero/Postman

7) Lagi nto na lang akong binabasa pag gusto nyong matuyo - Tuwalya/Towel

Lokomoko gone biking

What just happened on the November 20, 2011 episode of Lokomoko?

- Biking gags

- This puppet salesman pulls some electronic jokes on the "E-GADGET" sketch

- The Talentadong Family have gone fishing, again...

- In the next Babuyan, Donya Martha (Valeen Montenegro) asked some lawyer (Caloy Alde) to get rid of Angela's family, the lawyer's son takes action on Angela, and Don Lucio (JC De Vera) faces some disconnection notice.

- Whose Line Is It Anyhow!? with special guest host, Wilma Doesn't!

1) Naka-PAROLE ako ngayong pasko - Bintana

2) Ayan ka na naman ha! Porke't pasko hinahamon mo - Baboy

3) Bakit ba balut na balot ako, hindi naman ako giniginaw? - Regalo

4) Sige na nga. Pasko naman na, aamin nako...ako talaga ang baby - Monito/Monita

5) Paliligayahin kita ngayong Pasko - Christmas bonus

6) Wag mo akong paputukin sa loob baka madisgrasya ka! - Paputok

7) Hindi ba pwedeng Ceasefire muna kayo pagdating ko ngayong taon? - New Year

Loko-Work-Out

What just happened on the November 13, 2011 episode of Lokomoko?

- Gym gags

- Ogag's Fine Dining

- The Talentadong Family are joining the dance at the ball!

- The struggle continues on the Lokomoko mini-drama, Babuyan, as Don Lucio (JC De Vera) meets up with the Mafia, addressing their vulcanizing problems, Milagros (Tuesday Vargas) serving different kinds of kangkong to the family, the family are saying goodbye to their pig, and Margaret readies the lamok to kill herself but backfired by her dad, Don Lucio.

- Who's Line Is It Anyhow?!

1) Hindi lahat ng may sungay, salbahe - Batman

2) Sorry na kung pinapainit ko ang ulo mo. - Lagnat

3) Palagi niyo na lang akong sinasabit sa mga lakad mo. - Backpack

4) Bakit gustong gusto nyo ako kahit mabaho ako? - bagoong

5) Ako ang pinakasikat sa lahat ng kasama ko - Star Apple

6) Gaano ba ako ka importante sa buhay nyo at ayaw niyo ako pakawalan? - Kriminal

7) Kay rami ko nang winasak na tahanan. - anay