Mercedes-Benz GL 63 AMG (X166)

2013 Mercedes-Benz GL63 AMG

Hello, what's this? A high-performance SUV? This is not just a high-performance utility vehicle, it can be somewhat be, and excuse me for the RR analogies we're using, a Bass Cruiser. I'm using that term to describe a sports utility vehicle that was once used for offroad practicality turned into a very dynamic performance utility vehicle. I don't mean that Cayenne because it's not suitable to be a Bass Cruiser because it's a bit slop-sided for me to classify it, what I'm checking here is the first ever GL63 AMG, the high performance version of the latest version of the GL-Class X166.

Seems that the producers got a bit of a rush about my word regarding the Bass Cruiser stuff because to me, I think of a SUV spiced and beefed up for racing performance in mind but forget about that because the GL63 AMG feels more of a Bass Cruiser rather than being a heavy rhinoceros in business attire with running shoes and ahem, no time for Judoon stuff. Don't know? It's from DW, Judoon are a bunch of aliens who look like rhinos but they're like law enforcers. Anyway, no time for some wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey stuff, because what I'm speaking is that this new GL63 AMG may look like well you get the idea but when you listen to the noise of the M157 5.5L V8 twin-turbo engine, the kind of engine you may expect on most AMG models, especially the SLS AMG GT, that changes everything. From its revs to acceleration, the M157 engine planted on the GL63 AMG really sounds nasty, VERY VERY nasty. That sound fits perfect for a high-performance SUV that was been made to crush down everyone who stands in its way.

0-100kph is under five seconds and top speed normally limited to 250kph while mated with the AMG Speedshift Plus 7G-Tronic. It maybe heavier than any other serious performance utility vehicles, it maybe thirstier, it maybe trickier to drive, but it's still a massive wonder that you can be indulged for minutes, not days.

Price? That's pricey-wicey if I'm asking. It costs 130,305 Euros and that's about less expensive than the upcoming Porsche Cayenne Turbo S but because it's heavier, I would go for that turbocharged Porsche Cayenne which is, I'm afraid, a bit as ugly as the fly's metamorphosis. For a heavy but shouty beast like this, I think the GL63 is definitely a bass cruiser set to be almost a dynamic monster. If you were driving one of these in the richest cities in the world, people think that you're...um...well I was gonna say something something but I think I'll end this case here.

Photo: Mercedes-Benz

Mercedes-Benz GL-Class X166

The Mercedes-Benz GL-Class, not to be confused with the legendary G-Class, is more like Mercedes's answer to the Range Rover and like the Range Rover, it's heavier, slower, and thirstier. This car wasn't made for the typical family because this car was made for the high ranking politicians and executives because this car made them big time as you may expect them to be. Now, however, the GL-Class has been regenerated, and when I said regenerated, it's a full model change for the flagship full-size SUV from Mercedes-Benz.

2013 Mercedes-Benz GL-Class

Designated as X166, the all new, second-generation, Mercedes-Benz GL-Class tries to stand out the crowd of its internal affairs and of course, this Manhattan tanker's now bigger than the old X164 GL-Class. For instance, the length, height, and width has been expanded and the legroom's been expanded a little bit further so those armed men can get in to and escort their VIPs for protection. When you look at the outside of the new GL, it kinda feels like the W166 M-Class taking a double dose of something "pampa". Pampa what? Pampatigas? Pampainit? If you don't know what I'm saying, it's something more like some kind of medicine for men that is a six letter name, three consonants, three vowels, starts with letter V, and ends with letter A.

2013 Mercedes-Benz GL-Class interior

On the inside, here comes a typical Mercedes-Benz interior but the GL-Class can accommodate up to seven people and there are multiple seating arrangements which can be suitable on any given situation. But forget about all 7-seater malarkey thing because what I'm thinking about whoever getting inside at the 2nd row seat was just some sort of big shot. No wait, a big-timer would be seating at the back because when he folded down the 2nd row seats at the touch of a button, he has a place to rest his feet at. Sounds big timer and I felt like I could do the same thing on someone else's Land Cruiser; fold down the second row seats and sit at the third row to create some recliner-like feel or rather some kind of....Royal Lounge-ish... Sounds simple but it wasn't because that will get in my way of watching my favorite Doctor Who episodes via some optional rear seat entertainment system with dual monitors. Might be best to be sit on the 2nd row for a while for better viewing.

No matter though because for such interior, the GL-Class is a fit for a king and that's about it.

2013 Mercedes-Benz GL-Class

A 4.7L V8 petrol engine and a 3.0L V6 diesel engine were initially offered on the X166 GL-Class with various configurations. Beginning with the GL450 that generates 270 kW (367 PS) of power, GL500 for having 300 kW (408 PS) of power and 600 Nm of torque, GL550 which comes with improved power output of 557PS and improved torque output of 760Nm, and the GL350 BlueTEC that comes with a V6 CRDi engine that comes with a CO2 emission of 192–209 g/km and the potential to be EURO 6 compliant, which will be in effect in 2014. All of these are mated with thr 7G-Tronic Plus and the fully load-bearing air suspension system AIRMATIC with load recognition. With one of the most advanced features applied, the new GL-Class does act like a premium saloon even though it was just a big chunky SUV made for offroad use and that's good if you're in Monaco, Dubai, Abu Dhabi, Saudi Arabia, or in Las Vegas but if you drive it in places like Seoul, Tokyo, Bangkok, Kuala Lumpur, Singapore, Jakarta or even Manila, it won't work because they'll get you noticed that you're nothing more of a glutton than a high profile drug lord.

Available colors are; Calcitweiß, Schwarz, Iridiumsilber metallic, Tenoritgrau metallic, Citrinbraun metallic, Obsidianschwarz metallic, Zinnoberrot metallic, Diamantweiß, and Perlbeige metallic.

My comment;

Even though it has been regenerated, the GL-Class is still a bit a slower, heavier, and thirstier Manhattan tanker that you may end up sinking it to the harbor by a bunch of heavily armed Russian terrorists or worse, some kind of giant mecha. Anyway, with such gargantuan size for a Benz imported from the USA, the interior is somewhat as comfortable like a premium full-size sedan but with seven seats prepped up and a Harman Kardon premium audio to bring some sense to your sense of hearing. Don't blink or you are going down.

Photo: Mercedes-Benz