Forza Horizon 3: [Censored] to [Censored]...sorta

Sorry about the title but it's a clear reference from the latest Grand Tour episode titled [Censored] to [Censored] where the boys compare three British SUVs and going on their German-Austria road trip from Wank, Kissing, Petting, the Austrian village with the curse word on it, and all the way to Nuremberg. We saw the Jaguar F-Pace, the Range Rover, and the Bentley Bentayga into action and if I was just wondering if I can do the same comparison right here Down Under on Forza Horizon 3.







I already tried three of British SUVs in the past and I am already familiar with the way they behave for me because while the F-Pace excels in its handling capabilities because this is the lightest of the three, the Bentayga is the all-powerful heavyweight that shows its inner tyranny in the house of cards, and the Range Rover is all about offroad capabilities unlike any other, even though I found out that it's the heaviest of the three British-made SUVs.

Since this is Australia, it's impossible to recreate the comparison on the said Grand Tour episode but I found a piece of Grand Tour somewhere Down Under and that was called "Grand Tour Sprint", so famously called because it has the words "Grand Tour" on it and that remind anyone of the car show the former Top Gear trio were on it. Special, isn't it? And that gave me the ideal time to put these three British SUVs to the test round the Grand Tour Sprint because...it's like conducting science experiments with test subjects, only this time in cars.







To ensure a fair-playing field, I've stripped most of their upgrades to their respective tuning files so they can pick them up later after this experiment. Oh, and I also stripped off the special designs that I made because...I don't know why but this is science and no fancy accessories are allowed during the conduction of such a scientific process.

Now it's time to find out which of these three British SUVs is the best and no, there won't be any underwear, pets, sunglasses, and canned beans involved in the making of this experiment. No way. It's time to settle things once and for all and see which SUV is the best. Remember, no shortcuts because this is cheating just like what happened in the Grand Tour episode.

And so, the boxing bell has rung...



At the end of their Grand Tour sprint, I have the times;

F-Pace: 2:52.139
Range Rover: 2:41.862
Bentayga: 2:37.457

Here's the point; the F-Pace, because of its supercharged 3.0L V6 engine that produces less than the other two heavyweights, is the slowest of the three while the Bentayga, due to its tyrannical power output for a 12-cylinder SUV, is the fastest of the three, and in the end...hmmm...James May is absolutely useless.

So, the Bentayga is the fastest of the three and it's very hard to say what the dopey old idiot was doing behind the wheel because while it looks heavy inside and out, it's surprisingly fast and handles like a grand tourer, well just about. I assured that the Bentayga behaves like the good old Continental GT with the added muscle to upset the Range Rover in the race of luxury SUVs and in a straight-line performance, it would easily beat both the Jag and the Range Rover by a wide margin of reach but what could possibly go wrong with the Bentayga anyway?

Anyway, enough talk right now and time to close the case, proving that the ultra-expensive Bentley Bentayga is the best of the three SUVs and this Grand Tour episode really needs a rewrite.

FH3 Blizzard Mountain: A Jaguar SUV? Really?!

Look closely on this pic because at first glance, it does look like a typical Jaguar to you but when I uncover the whole picture, you won't believe what kind of Jaguar is this because this is just more than being your basic Jaguar that you took it on the city centers sunrise to sunset.





Surprised? Betcha didn't know that Jaguar made an SUV for the very first time, questioning every single car enthusiasts thinking that the company that owns both Jaguar and Land Rover realized that these two have gone off the deep end and thus resulted to this; the first ever Jaguar F-Pace, and it's available on Forza Horizon 3's Logitech G Car Pack. But first, I need to go to the Blizzard Mountain to assess this SUV for a more knowledgeable manner.



So, the main question is why did Jaguar made an SUV even though only Land Rovers do so? Is this a conspiracy, I dare say? Or are they just trying to reinvent the lineup to get back on the Germans for reigning the luxury car race? Although the questions remained unanswered until further notice, the F-Pace from Jaguar was carved from the remnants of the C-X17 Concept as seen on the 2013 Frankfurt Motor Show, Another important example of a concept car turned reality for the motoring public, although a small price to pay to make a vision a reality for all.

Contrary to belief that the F-Pace is basically a Range Rover Evoque in Jaguar's clothing but in reality, it uses the same underbelly as Jaguar's latest saloons in the range such as the XE and the new XF. In general, this crossover behaves like a sport saloon on the road while still delivers SUV credentials that makes it go anywhere, well just about, and it was made for the upperclassmen who goes for important meetings on workdays and then going for some leisure stuff on weekends and holidays such as going for golf, hunting, camping, or anything outdoorsy stuff people with SUVs do most of the time. Didn't they mentioned that Jaguar made a special wristband for owners to act as a carkey to access this car? Pretty clever, huh? Makes conventional car keys obsolete in the near future, I dare say.

For now, the most powerful in the range is the one with the 3.0L Supercharged V6 engine that produces 380PS of power output, almost two hundred less than the Range Rover, but make no mistake that even though the power output is somewhat lacking, it's surprisingly lighter than the Range Rover, making it very sporty to handle through the bends no SUV couldn't imagine of due to the laws of physics.



This Jaguar really puts the sport back to the sports utility vehicle because not only it looks good to look at, it's surprisingly agile and sharp. It behaves like a rear-wheel drive car as I noticed and the more I get used to this Jag, the more promising it deserves. I can really take back about the deep end part and get used to this crossover that handles like a sports saloon while delivering the SUV ruggedness it does, well just about.

Even though I don't see the F-Pace to be a proper offroader as compared to the more expensive Range Rover, I want to treat it rough to see how good as this Jag gets and since I'm in Blizzard Mountain, there are plenty of reasons to play rough with this Jaguar SUV.





Quite a fitting take on such a snowy weather but sorry, you have to see that because a hint of Yokai Watch's Blizzaria on the design is what I've ordered to do it on the F-Pace and being Blizzaria, extreme icy conditions may follow shortly. Get it? Gotta love this supernatural cutie, though, but anyway, with the F-Pace all prepped up for snow duty, time to treat it rough to see how much it can do not just as an SUV but as a Jaguar.



That was the roughest take on the first ever SUV from Jaguar even though no one's pleased with its "childish" special Blizzaria design on it but I can safe to say that the Jaguar F-Pace earned the seal of approval it deserves. Although it may not be as powerful as a Range Rover but its lightweight bodywork can really cut it like a bread knife on the silver platter and its superiority complex really outshines the German crossovers awesomely.

It maybe an SUV but it still has the "art of performance" Jaguar deserves and I am very proud of what this crossover done for me.

Jaguar F-Pace

Jaguar is well known for making ultra-luxury premium sedans like the XJ and sportscars like the F-Type but when they decided that they will make their own sport utility vehicle, we all thought that it's going to be a Land Rover in Jaguar's clothing, but we are sort of wrong with this one...

2017 Jaguar F-Pace

Called the F-Pace, Jaguar's first ever crossover utility vehicle marks a new chapter in its lifetime and whenever this crossover is up against the likes of the Macan or the X3 or the GLC or the Q5 or even its stablemate, the Range Rover Evoque, it will be the F-Pace, as Jaguar states.

2017 Jaguar F-Pace

On the contrary, the F-Pace is not a Land Rover in Jaguar overalls because it uses the same underbelly as Jaguar's latest saloons, the XE and the new XF, so you may expect this to behave like a sportscar but you have to do better than that because despite its sports saloon underpinnings, the F-Pace isn't as sharp as either the XE or the new XF but as a crossover utility vehicle, the all-capable F-Pace sure is as witty as quick-shooting a sawed-off shotgun at different sides. However, don't get too jumpy because even if the F-Pace behaves like a sportscar because of its F-Type-inspired characteristics, cases of understeering is likely, probably due to its 4WD drivetrain (even if its recalibrated to allow most of the power goes to the rear wheels) and its electric power steering.

Back when these things stuffed onto the F-Type sportscar, my observation that I was going to think that the 4WD and power steering would degrade the F-Type's character but no. If drivers managed to get things right, the 4WD and power steering wouldn't be a problem to the F-Type and here in the F-Pace, the right timing will show how much fun this crossover would do, despite its weight. When you opt in for the high-end S with the 3.0 litre V6 380PS Supercharged Petrol engine, best not to overdo it or else you'll mess it up. Same thing goes for the 3.0L V6 diesel engine because even if it has a higher torque output than the petrol engine, there's no hiding from the clattering the engine gets.

It may have a great noise for a V6 engine but for everyday use, you can either go for the 2.0L turbodiesel engine with 180PS of power. It maybe short on power but I'm not highly sure that its efficiency maybe the key to make the F-Pace a practical crossover for business and leisure because with all that ruckus going on, it's hard to determine how fuel efficient this small Ingenium diesel is, especially with the claimed combined mileage of 4.9l/100km when a 6-speed manual is equipped.

Oh yeah, while most models do come with a hefty 8-speed automatic gearbox, the 2.0L diesel variant is the only variant to come standard with a 6-speed manual.

2017 Jaguar F-Pace interior

The F-Pace may have some Jaguar charm on the design department, but it's surprisingly technologically advanced and practical. There's some room in the back that can fit your leisurely stuff on your next day off. It even comes with an array of gadgets in partial terms of safety and convenience, including the brand new Activity Key, which allows the wearer to open the car when made contact and it's surprisingly durable, meaning you can take out in all sorts of outdoor activities. Who would have thought that Jaguar made some kind of wearable tech for discerning owners of the F-Pace crossover?

2017 Jaguar F-Pace

The Jaguar F-Pace starts at 34,170 Pounds and while this is as costly as the German-made luxury crossovers, the F-Pace shows how much handy capable Jaguar's first crossover can do. Its capabilities as a multirole is fairly unorthodox for a Jaguar of this magnitude but the F-Pace is surely ready to rise up from the challenge, no matter the odds.

Available colors: Polaris White, Ebony Black, Glacier White, Ultimate Black, Ammonite Grey, Dark Sapphire Blue, British Racing Green, Quartzite, Italian Racing Red, Odyssey Red, Rhodium Silver, Tempest Grey, Storm Grey, and Ingot.

Photo: Jaguar Land Rover