BMW M5 F10 Competition Paket vs. MB E63 AMG W212 S-Modell

Let's begin with the BMW M5, a modern-day European sports saloon for the people who came home 4 in the morning, smelling of whiskey and covered in lipstick. Although, it starting to pick some paces for this latest predecessor, it's surely becoming the best M5 ever made. I had to admit it that the BMW M5 is definitely the best 4-door saloon car ever made and that's the end of it.

2014 BMW M5

Now though, BMW claimed that they made it even better. So, I wonder what's new for the BMW M5? Well, for starters, it now has a new design on its kidney bumper and on the top right, you can now see the M5 logo on it. That's odd but we all know THIS IS the M5. Why would they need to put a badge on the grille anyway just like the new M6? Anyway, a few things have been changed for the M5 to keep it fresh and now, it comes with a newer version what BMW calls it the Competition Paket.

It still has the 4.4L V8 Twin Turbo which makes a rather bland exhaust note and then faking it from the interior but get this, it's now enhanced so now it develops 575PS of power. This model is now 0.1 seconds faster in the 0-100 km/h (62 mph) sprint and 0.2 seconds for the 0 to 200 km/h (124 mph) acceleration. That sounds as electrifying as Oliver Skeete in an electric chair and judging by its fun factor, it feels a bit faultless. You can get yourself intoxicated by the sheer pleasure it triggers and no matter the circumstances, it still tries to leave a huge smile in a face. You can pull a few tricks just like what Yorkshire Stig used to do last year and with the right skill, you are surely manage to blitz through the assault course with its wild side.

Judging by the way how juvenile the version is, the Competition Paket is like turning a child star into a more fiercer, bolder, and more hardcore star that introduced the whole T meme. What was that? Oh yeah, it's Twerking of course. This car sure knows how to do the twerking and imagine if you see one parked near a preschool, that's a childhood worth ruining or enhancing. Don't tell me why...

2014 BMW M5

The Competition Paket made the BMW M5 more fun to drive but sadly though, it tastes like s**t when you drive one on the public roads. Think of it like...JoJo Tickle drank some pee no matter how purified it is. Seriously, can you purify your own wee to drink? That's disgusting but tell you what though, there is one thing worth worse than drinking a glass of wee and that's the M Dynamic Mode which makes the M5 more difficult to regain its handling and more chances to kill you if you're not careful. Just can you think of something that is worth dynamic and challenging? Well, there's the SLS Black, the VXR8, the Vanquish, the F12, there are so many cars worth dynamic and challenging and if you're a beginner, this is not the car for you so you better off with a hot hatch or a Porsche 911 with a mild driving feel until you're ready.

As dynamic as the cars I mentioned earlier, the new M5 with the Competition Paket is not recommended for the faint at heart and it's only made for brave people with some hair in their chests. It's the car made for people who want a bit of some "crash and burn" in their lives but there's something a bit more than this car....

2014 Mercedes-Benz E63 AMG

The latest version of the Mercedes-Benz E63 AMG. Like the M5, it's still not the car made for the shy type of persons and it's definitely a brave man's car if you're facing the YOLO word. Yes, you might get uncomfortable every time when you see the YOLO word because...well, you know but unlike the M5, the E63 is worth perfect and don't need the fakey exhaust sound gizmo on the stereo because of its bewildering exhaust note worth intoxicating. For the first time, it now features a brand new S-Modell which bumps the E63's 5.5L V8 turbo engine up to 585PS of power, 10 more than the M5 Competition Paket, and unlike the M5, the E63 S-Modell is four-wheel drive, making it a bit less complicated. 0-100kph time is now 3.6 seconds and top speed normally limited to 250kph or with the optional package, you can have the limit raised to 300kph.

It maybe four-wheel drive, it may have more power than the M5, and it maybe better looking than the M5 but sadly, the new E63 also has the same twerking trait as the M5 rival but it's a different kind of twerking because the E63 is starting to get more convincing and to do that, let's resort comparing the E63 AMG S-Modell to a totally different kind of league. Take this Nissan GT-R for example, while the E63 has more power than the GT-R, be warned that the GT-R has a better 0-100kph time than the E63 S-Modell and the E63 S-Modell costs more than the GT-R, by about 10,000 Euros. Hashtag? Sorry, can't tell what kind of hashtag will be but here's the word: 100,000 Euro German Sports Saloon with 585PS of power - gets raped by Godzilla. Ouch!

2014 Mercedes-Benz E63 AMG

So, it may not be a proper Godzilla rival but the E63 S-Modell sets the ultimate benchmark as one of the most powerful V8 sports saloons ever made and the BMW M5 can't get even closer because it needs to do better than that. Sadly though, even though the E63 S-Modell is the best saloon car for the bravest of the few, I wouldn't recommend it and instead, go for the Nissan GT-R. Why? It's quicker than the E63 S-Modell and that's the end of it. Case closed.