Audi RS7 Sportback

2014 Audi RS7 Sportback

Well, that was quite an unexpected arrival for this hot version of the Audi A7 4-door coupe even this promises to give the Mercedes-Benz CLS63 AMG and the BMW M6 Gran Coupe a run for their money. So, ladies and gents, meet the Audi RS7 Sportback.

Lurking behind the skunk works of quattro GmBH, this high-performance 4-door coupe tries to balance it out not just as a premium saloon car but also a sports saloon that prefers to play with alkali metals in the bathroom, only cesium is worth the big bang in the bathtub perhaps. The science lesson is always one of Audi's biggest excuses when it comes to retain their "Vorsprung Durch Technik" slogan but because Germans love to do some serious stuff, all that sense of humor is not here, and so are its German rivals. Sometimes, it always left fake smiles rather than real smiles even when you made a fantastic joke out of it but no matter what, the Germans never laughed because humor is not in the German lexicon. There's another thing about how German is a German car because rather than losing its sense of humor, it's bang goes to the fear, the sorrow, and the fury. A true German car has to be more emotionless in order to focus to its keen points a driver would want but to be honest, it's all emotion commotion for this kind of scenario anyway.

For such a serious car like the RS7, it's rigged with Audi's 4.0 TFSi twin turbo engine which develops the same as the Lamborghini Gallardo LP560-4. 0-100kph takes about 3.9 seconds and top speed normally limited to 250kph or if you have enough cash, there's this dynamic package which raises the limit to 280kph or the very serious dynamic package plus which has its limit raised to 305kph, about 20 less than the LP560-4 Gallardo so it's not much of what you call...hmmm...

In terms of handling, well that was a bit of a brainstormer here, it still retains its seriousness as a German car and even if your hammering around like a megalomaniac, heh, no fuss. It behaves just like an office junior jumping through the swimming pool with some office equipment. Be warned though that while it drives seriously on the open roads, it still yanks like babies and roadworks. You wouldn't want one to use it as a chauffeur's car because sometimes, you'll be waking your boss up with his wine spilled on his pants. Quite an embarrassing moment eh and if it happened if you drive one of these in formal occasions or some sort of luxury parties, you're going to ruin theirs because what you have here is morally impolite. Geez, I don't really want to have one or have my driver to chauffeur with me because things can really get as messy as Japanese wasabi.

What's also crazy about the RS7 is its serious pricing and I was hoping to be priced competitively between the CLS63 and the M6 Gran Coupe but with this, it starts at around 113,000 Euros, around 20,000 more than the S7 Sportback, which is a lesser brother to that. So, with so many questions about the new RS7 are better left untold, it all leads to everyone's verdict to figure out how does the RS7 stack up but in the meantime, don't. It's still worth leaving your ears red if you had one and when you hear people talking about your ride.

Photo: Audi AG