Škoda Octavia (Typ 5E) RS

2014 Skoda Octavia RS and 2014 Skoda Octavia Combi RS

Once again, I'm disrespecting another high-performance version of an everyday car and this time it's the turn of the hot version of the third-generation Skoda Octavia. RS or vRS, whatever you call it, returns for the all new Skoda Octavia and what I'm unaware is that Skoda claims that this new model is the most powerful Octavia in the world (*at this moment in time). Hmmm... The most powerful Octavia in the world, huh? I'm not so sure if this kind of superlative makes sense and to find out, I have to dissect the vRS' potentials one by one by one.

Starting first on how it behaves or misbehaves in a mindless kind of way. Okay, while Skoda says this is the ultimate version of the new Octavia, which is nothing more of a Volkswagen Golf for the elder gentlemen, there are two kinds of engines available for the new Octavia RS. One is a turbocharged two-litre petrol engine and the other one is a two-litre diesel engine which doesn't make any sense for this superlative.

2014 Skoda Octavia RS

First of all, the 2.0L TSi engine, that's what we're focusing at, develops 220HP of power and when mated with a six-speed manual, it takes 0-100kph in 6.8 seconds, that's a 0.4 second improvement over the previous model and with the 248kph flat out speed, it's faster as well. No wonder I was agreeing to this kind of superlative though. Hmmm...This is the most powerful Octavia ever made, I had to be careful not to let my brain explode...

So, what about the diesel version? Well, for the downside, you'll sacrifice power over fuel economy because this diesel engine develops 184HP of power, 0-100kph in 8.1 seconds, 232kph flat out speed, and 119g/km of CO2 emissions, which some say it's a 19% improvement over the old model.

At first glance, I thought I was going to disrespect this machine but it wasn't worth it. This machine really loves to play silly tricks on its sleeves and driving one of these feels like you are in a one way trip to Hallucination-ville. Or perhaps, the way it behaves feels like you've been running through an olympic-sized pool...filled with custard. Whoops. Just saying the old "walk through a pool full of custard" stuff. Where did I heard that from?

2014 Skoda Octavia Combi RS

Anyway, while this is like running through a pool full of custard, it's still a Czechoslovakian sub machine-gun disguised as a laptop. You'd never know what will hit you next but thanks to all those character-building traits, the Octavia RS is made for the mad, the bad, and the downright stupid. Whether if you were in the saloon version, which costs 619,900 Kč, or in the station wagon version, the Combi, which costs 654,900 Kč, the choice of having either a 2.0L petrol or a 2.0L diesel, mated with either a 6-speed manual or a 6-speed double clutch AT, it's still one of the best Skodas to have since the Fabia.

2014 Skoda Octavia RS interior

So, after driving this, I had to realize which is funnier than driving the Octavia RS. Is it hot chicks blowing too much caravans? Blokes peeing on a wounded man on the street? Putting a CD on a microwave? I don't know but this isn't all brainy stuff because driving the Octavia RS will give drivers the same feelings you'd expect on the ones I'd mentioned. Even though it has the best of both worlds, your desire to abuse this in the name of science remains inevitable.

Thank you Skoda, and thanks for dropping by.

Photo: Skoda Auto