Mercedes-Benz E-Class Coupe and Cabriolet Minor Change

2014 Mercedes-Benz E-Class Coupe and Cabriolet

Along with the sedan and estate, the coupe versions and cabriolet versions of the Mercedes-Benz E-Class W212 were given a minor change as well. Although it is essentially a minor change for these two-door brothers thanks to its new schnoz, it feels like it has nothing in common with the sedan and tourer equivalents because...well, let's find out...

First of all, it's still not as sporty to drive as the sedan and tourer equivalents even though two-doors is enough to call it a driver-focused model of the E-Class family. Think about it, folks. Even though the Coupe and Cabriolet E-Class models are more than enough to satisfy an unnecessary selfie, it's not quite qualified to be more of a thoroughbred rather than being a sophisticated two-door saloon car for the privileged few who are always self-centered. Alpha males just don't get it because even though the E-Class Coupe and Cabriolet were made just for them, they would rather go for the old-fashioned CLK instead because...well, you know why.

Anyway, while these two are not classified to be called "sports cars", both the new E-Class Coupe and Cabriolet models are designed to be more of an "everyday car" because if you were the sort of selfie who takes them out for a stroll in, well, let's just say EDSA or Quezon City, or Bonifacio Global City, these cars were made to be head-turners because when every time there's someone saw you around driving one of those, you'd be rather be mistaken for a high-profile celebrity going out for a dinner with a special someone that you can't tell to anyone.

Of course, rather than being a head-turner, it's a comfortable car as well. It's like you're making a bland mushroom soup from a can very exciting to eat by putting some milk and some tuna. I like it. I made that meal myself, though. Anyway, while it has the feeling of sipping your freshly cooked meal, there is a bit of a problem about these; they're not quite exciting to drive those either, even when you take these on one of the world's best driving roads. It feels like that you went to the best rollercoaster in town and 5 seconds later, it's over. It's not quite an Enchanted Kingdom-level of excitement but rather...a Pixie Forest-level of excitement. Oh, and if you don't know what a Pixie Forest was, it's on the Festival Supermall. Those who find it boring don't go there and instead go to X-Site. It's more fun though.

2014 Mercedes-Benz E-Class Coupe and Cabriolet interior

Engine ranges include a 2.0L turbo petrol engine, 3.0L V6 turbo petrol engine, a 2.1L diesel engine, and a 3.0L V6 diesel engine may seem to be rather fine but it seems that none of those engine types that tickles your fancy. Even with the most powerful engine in the lineup which produces 333hp of power and an electronically limited top speed of 155mph, it feels a bit Jon Tickle than a tickle machine and even if you're acting like a Brainiac like what speedo boys do, it's not quite more exciting even though it's short on power compared to its AMG-badged predecessor, the old CLK which was built until 2009. Boo...

Like the four-door equivalents, both the E-Class Coupe and Cabriolet also comes with host of safety features, most that will be appeared on the next S-Class, such as  PRE-SAFE PLUS, ATTENTION ASSIST driver drowsiness monitor, Driver Assistance Package with DISTRONIC PLUS adaptive cruise control with Steering Assist and PRE-SAFE Brake, plus Active Blind Spot Assist and Active Lane Keeping Assist, and PARKTRONIC with enhanced Active Parking Assist. Not only this car is more of an everyday car, it's safer as well because thanks to all of these features, this car cares about the driver more than the car itself. Hmmm...

Meh...I'd rather not sold to this new model anyway. With times like this, best to go back to the old CLK instead because not only it's more exciting to drive than the new E-Class Coupe and Cabriolet, it has the hotter version that these two...isn't. Fat chance, kid. Fat chance...

Photo: Mercedes-Benz