 |
| Miami Heat - 2013 NBA Champions! |
JC: So, that's it?
RH: Yes! That's it! Miami Heat wins the 2013 NBA Championship at the score of 95 to 88 against the San Antonio Spurs! Thanks to Mr. Lebron "The King" Raymone James, Shane Battier, Dwayne Wade, the birdman, and the rest, they tried so hard to win the dogfight at the ring! Oh and credits to head coach, Erik Spoelstra, as well!
JC: Yeah, that was a marvelous match ever lasted and I just wanna say, Miami Heat, you've finally proven all the haters that you are the best team ever existed since...um...the Chicago Bulls back in the 90's.
RH: So...um...This is another "ambitious but rubbish" accomplishment, right?
JC: Whoa! Remove the "rubbish" word because Miami Heat's no longer rubbish for now. They are ambitious and successful! Let's give a big hand of applause, everybody!
(cheers and applause)
JC: So there you go, folks! Miami Heat is 2013 NBA Champions! End of discussion! So..um...could we do the news?
JM: The news! And I just noticed something that the once famed Instagram app for most smartphones, iPhone and Android, alike is now on its Version 4.0.0 right now and what interests me about this latest version is...um...you can record a 15-second video on Instagram!
(ooohh)
JC: 15-second? Record a 15-second video on Instagram?
JM: Yep. That is the natural limit on uploading a video on Instagram and oh, have you done this on your phone?
JC: Well, yes. I just took a video of Dwayne Wade trying to crawl himself to the ball until the whistle was blown, signalling a foul.
JM: Really?
JC: Yeah. Seems that I want to watch this over and over again because this is so awkwardly funny...
(audience laughing)
JC: I mean, it was like Dwayne Wade crawling himself like a baby and then he fell down when the whistle blows. "Oh my! I gotta reach that ball! Gotta reach it! Gotta reach it" and then... (imitates whistle blowing)
(audience laughing)
JC: A foul! (laughing) Okay, the thing is though that it was such a weird idea to have Instagram updated to upload 15-second videos. We used Instagram to take pictures and share it to others but now...videos? Huh? What a lame idea it is...
(audience laughing)
JC: Anyway, a couple of months ago, Richard Hammond drove the new Viper on our show and he and this car arrived last in our race to the border town in California, therefore forcing him to go to Mexico to drive a Mastretta sports car. Now, Chrysler's SRT brand now launched a track-only version of the SRT Viper. Here it is...
 |
| SRT Viper GT3R |
It's called the GT3R and this race-spec Viper was built for private race teams to run in various GT3 classes worldwide. 8.4L V10 engine produces 680HP of power, using the know-how of the GTS-R racer and it costs $459,000.
(ooohh)
RH: Under 460,000 Dollars for a race-prepper Viper? Gosh, that was the most amazing race-prepper Viper to date since...um...the ACR-X! That was staggering...
JC: Yeah right and since you're a bit of an American...
(audience laughing)
JC:...you only like this car because you want something big enough to ease the competition but we don't like it. Remember this is the car that shipped you to Mexico...
(audience laughing)
RH: No. Probably because you guys cheated by clogging the exhaust and HT Lead Off!
(audience laughing)
RH: Thought I never forget that?
(audience laughing)
JC: Now, a couple of years ago, Nurburgring queen, Sabine Schmitz, lapped a Ford Transit round the Nurburgring in 10 minutes and 08 seconds, which is a bit slower than my diesel Jaguar that lapped the Nurburgring but sets a record for vans racing through the Nurburgring. Anyway, seems that the record was broken by some tuner boys at Revo. Anyway, here's the photo of the tuned VW that lapped the Nurburgring quicker than the normal Transit that Sabine drove round the Green Hell...
 |
| Revo-tuned T5 |
(ooohh)
JC: What this is is some modified Volkswagen van by the boys of Revo and it lapped the Nurburgring at an equally unofficial 9:57.36 time.
RH: 9 minutes and fifty seven seconds for a tuned VW van? Wow, that was quite impressive for a van like this but how's that possible to have a commercial van juiced for perfection?
JC: Well, obviously, it started out as a VW T5 van and then added some turbo-back exhaust system, bespoke ECU remap, uprated intercooler/oil cooler combination and some flashy decals that most "turbo nerds" done in their cars...
(audience laughing)
JM: So, the result was a VW T5 developed by some "turbo nerds" who thinks racing in the night or in the wet weather are much more cooler than racing in the daylight?
(audience laughing)
JC: Pbt....turbo nerds....
(audience laughing)
JC: Anyway, you know Amanda Bynes? Anyone?
(audience murmuring)
RH: Oh wait! I know her! Isn't that the girl from an old show called All That and then The Amanda Show and now she's in trouble because of her arrest last month for the possession of drugs?
JC: Yes. Yes she was. Now, I just heard that Amanda's getting a nose surgery and she was praised by her decision to do so because QUOTE "She consider herself a hero"....Hmmmm....
(audience laughing)
JM: Consider herself a hero, eh?
JC: Yes. Because she was born with a webbing in between her eyes and thanks to the nose job, she never felt so relieved. Good for her but I think it wasn't quite good for the former Nickelodeon star. Seems to me that there's going to be something something about this...Hmmm...90's teen stars...where are they now?
(audience laughing)
RH: 90's teen stars?
JC: Yeah! Amanda's one of them. Know anyone?
(audience laughing)
JC: Oh well...That's the end of the news!
No comments:
Post a Comment