RH: Man, that was epic! So freaking close!
JC: I know! Too darn close! The folks at Miami Heat prevented the Spurs from taking home the trophy and advance to the final game! I mean, if it weren't for the Heat's aggressive measures, the Spurs would have mullered them for the crown.
RH: That's definitely incredible, Jeremy! I thought the Heat's going to lose but the OVERTIME really gave them 5 minutes of fame and anger...
(audience laughing)
RH: ...until the three-point gap between them really made Miami Heat won Game 6 and advance to the Final Game of the 2013 NBA Finals! So what do you say? Since both Heat and Spurs are going on the final game of the championship, who will prevail?
JC: Uhhhh....
(audience laughing)
JM: Let's remember, the Spurs took the odds while the Heat made it even so it's 3-3 for them. Who will win the final game?
JC: Well, tell you what? We're going to find out at the conclusion of the 2013 NBA Finals this Thursday (Friday for Asian countries) and find out okay? Anyway, let's do the news!
RH: And big news today because, hey James, you remember driving the new Aston Martin Vanquish in the USA a couple of months ago, right?
JM: Yeah, and this is the car that sustain the least number of hits in a game of aerial laser tag at Willow Springs and I arrived 2nd at the border town of Calexico, whereas you've arrived last and drove a Mastretta sports car in Mexico.
(audience laughing)
RH: Anyway, Aston Martin launched a new convertible version of the Vanquish, called the Vanquish Volante. Here it is...
 |
| 2014 Aston Martin Vanquish Volante |
RH: Anyway, it has the same features as the Vanquish that James May drove, except now, the roof is off and it weighs 9kg more than the coupe model. Still has the same V12 engine as the coupe model, don't forget it.
JC: I think this is even more sexier and even more dramatic than its hardtop sister and I had to say, it's as beautiful as Karen Gillan...
(audience laughing)
JM: Clarkson! Would you please knock it off?
JC: Sorry about that. I can't help myself contemplating about this beautiful machine, which is somewhat the open-top version of the car you just drove a couple of months ago.
(audience laughing)
JC: Anyway, Fiat just launched a 7-seater version of the 500L, called the Living. Here it is...
 |
| 2014 Fiat 500L Living |
JC: Care to look at it? Care to see what that is? What this is is nothing more of an enlarged 500 now even larger and even more uglier. As uglier as your Fiat Panda...
(audience laughing)
RH: Indeed it is! It looks annoyingly grotesque! I bet James May would swap his Panda for that one. He he he...
JC: Hey James! This car is even bigger than your worthless Panda! Want?
JM: No...
(audience laughing)
JM: Would you please stop annoying me with that kind of...nonsense?
JC: Okay but there's something worse than a Fiat 500L Living. Something I can't describe...Hmmm...Has anyone saw yesterday's Adventure Time?
(audience murmuring)
JC: Now, what I don't really understand that Adventure Time's slowly turning into Gravity Falls, probably because...um...
RH: Oh wait! Lemme guess... So there was a character in Gravity Falls who sounded like BMO and then there's a character in Adventure Time who sounded like Mabel Pines. Would that be...criss-cross?
(audience laughing)
JC: Criss cross, Hammond! Criss cross! Here's the problem because when they saw a character from Gravity Falls who was one of Mabel's friends...
JM: Was it the Asian one?
(audience laughing)
JC: James! Stop it! This is too sensitive. Anyway, the main problem is...one of Mabel's friends could be BMO. It goes like "HEY! THERE'S A BMO IN GRAVITY FALLS!"
(audience laughing)
RH: BMO?! In Gravity Falls? More like BMO in human form wearing a striped jumper! Ha ha ha!!!
(audience laughing)
JC: Anyway, Candy's the name. Candy was one of Mabel's friends who sounded like BMO, which is somewhat algebraic for fans many. Now, onto Adventure Time. There was this character named Jake Jr.
RH: Jake Jr.? You mean, Jake Jr.?
JC: Jake Jr. She's one of Jake and Lady Rainicorn's kids first appeared in an episode called "Jake the dad" but she aged faster.
 |
| Jake Jr. |
JC: Anyway, there was this episode where Jake Jr. was kidnapped by an unknown criminal and then Jake the Dog assembled his old crew to steal something from the candy kingdom but then his old crew tricked him and turns out Jake Jr. is behind this. One thing I don't understand is..."Hey! Does this voice sound familiar from Jake Jr.'s"? Oh wait! I know who she is!!!
RH: Who was she?
JC: It's MABEL PINES from GRAVITY FALLS!
(audience laughing hysterically)
JC: Mabel's the Jake Jr.!
RH: No freaking way! It's a criss cross! Gravity Falls is turning into Adventure Time with BMO around and Adventure Time's turning into Gravity Falls with Mabel! Criss-cross...
(audience laughing)
JC: There you go folks. Top Gear Top Tip: BMO turns Gravity Falls into Adventure Time, Mabel turns Adventure Time into Gravity Falls. Criss-cross.
(audience laughing)
JC: Who wouldn't taught of that?! He he he... Oh my goodness. Are we all succumbed to some kind of Smile Dip and that's what happened? Mabel ended up being Jake Jr. in Adventure Time? Weeeeeee.........
(audience laughing)
(splash!)
JC: OW! ####!
(audience laughing)
JM: Knock it off, Clarkson. You're just getting high after thinking that Mabel turning Adventure Time into Gravity Falls and BMO turning Gravity Falls into Adventure Time.
JC: Okay okay okay....I had enough of the whole Gravity Falls Adventure Time malarkey. Anyway, I just saw a rather interesting article from TV5's Word of the Lourd about why Candy Crush saga is life-ruingly addictive than prohibited drugs and that begs us a question...why?
(audience laughing)
JC: Judging the fact that Candy Crush is 2013's hit social puzzle game that outrun Farmville as one of the hit Facebook games with over 45.6 million monthly users and one of the highest grossing apps at the app store, why would something so colorful and boring would be even better than the big games. Besides, this is nothing more of a tic-tac-toe with a bit more fanciness on it.
(audience laughing)
RH: Hey, I thought you're quitting on this super boring game?
JC: I know. I quit playing that game but there's so much skepticism about the whole Candy Crush addiction. Something that I can't truly understand...I mean the whole addiction story is pretty much with us from the past and the present ever since the book of Genesis where drugs hadn't been invented yet.
(audience laughing)
JC: Thing is though, addiction isn't just limited to drugs. It's also everywhere. Everything around you can be addictive and addiction ruins your life.
RH: Uh...what about car addicts? Do cars ruin their lives?
(audience laughing)
JC: Possibly... But there's a thing to avoid addiction and that's moderation. With great addiction comes great responsibility, like the ads that says "Drink Responsively" at the end...
(audience laughing)
JC: Anyway, that is the end of the news!
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