BMW 3-Series Gran Turismo

If you think that the 5-Series Gran Turismo is far out the most hideous looking Bimmer ever made, just wait until you meet up with its even hideous little brother from another world.

2014 BMW 3-Series Gran Turismo

This swivel-eyed curiosity is the all new BMW 3-Series Gran Turismo, the one that was once hideous now made even hideous, probably because of its design so hideous, it's like marrying a renowned designer of all things beautiful to someone with a hideous looking braces on her teeth. Eewww...

However, the unproportional design of the 3-Series GT is the least of our problems because there are several key points you might aware about this curiosity. First of all, there was this typical BMW interior because this is somewhat the same interior you can expect in other BMWs but sadly, never mind about that because even though it's been loaded with several gadgetry catered for the techie kind of person, even the internet connectivity, or iPod connectivity, or heated seats, or whatever concession of conveniences you can expect, it doesn't make any difference and because of the roof line that looks like its big brother, the 5-Series Gran Turismo, it's as cramped as jogging down a miniature submarine through the hunchback's...well, back!

2014 BMW 3-Series Gran Turismo interior

So, what's exactly wrong with this baby GT Bimmer, anyway? Apart from its hideous "doof" look and its stale interior, what else is wrong? Anyway, about the way it drives, the 3-Series GT is smoother than the Touring version of the 3-Series but the long wheelbase of the 3-Series GT really ruined the steering behavior. It's like having a baker getting zapped and then when customers come to the bakeshop and said, "Hey! Why is this birthday cake look like it's been zig zagged?". Probably because the baker can't keep up with the electric shock that messes her work? Yes...Very...

2014 BMW 3-Series Gran Turismo

Engine types for the 3GT include three petrol engines, including the one that produces 306PS of power, and 3 diesel engines for those who often got the green thumbs and want to be somewhat more intellectual when they get there. Whichever engine types you're choosing, you can either opt for a 6-speed manual or an oversized 8-speed automatic transmission but no matter the outcome, the results of being a dull driver's car remains the same.

The Germans are trying to express their serious sense of humor on their cars just to give drivers an awkward smile on their faces but sadly, this car doesn't have a sense of humor and it's not funny. It's still as corny as a c-list celebrity who often spends his time stealing jokes on the internet or as nonsensical as a college dropout who wants to get a job at his nearest fast food joint and that's for nerds who don't bother about everything surrounding his life.

This car isn't a C-List celebrity stealing jokes or a college dropout working at McDonald's. In fact, this is even more worse than those and with the 36,150 EUR intro price, it's too expensive as well. In fact, with with the money that was meant to buy a 3-Series GT, I should rather spend it Renault Megane 265 and with all that leftovers, I could just spend it for minor home renovations with such budget left and some groceries.

Photo: BMW