Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Let's Do The News! (May 29, 2013)

JC: And now, the news folks and I got word from Chevrolet that the Corvette C7 Stingray, the car that has Gran Turismo exclusivity and making a comeback on Gran Turismo 6 soon. Okay, we now got info that the official specs are quite more than we expected.

(ooohhh)

RH: Okay...mind if I read it?

JC: You're the mommy.

RH: Okay...you know the rumors saying that it was supposed to have 450HP of power and 450lb-ft of torque? Well, the cap has been lifted folks. The LT1 engine for the Corvette Stingray '14 officially churns out...wait for it...wait for it...Ah! 460 horsepower for the power, 465lb-ft for torque, and that's it. They were SAE-certified.

JC: I see.

RH: Such figures made General Motors claiming that the new Corvette Stingray has the most powerful standard engine based on SAE certifications.

JC: Thanks Hammond but no thanks for this car. I still don't like this car a lot. Ever since it made an appearance of GT5, things are spiralling out of control for me. Now, while on the topic on the upcoming race games coming at the end of the year, I assure that the upcoming FM5 for the X1 or XBOX One...(sigh) Why I shorten it to X-1?

(audience laughing)

JC: Anyway, thanks to the McLaren P1, which is going to be the cover car for the game, I can expect high-quality cars to be featured, unlike the upcoming Gran Turismo 6 for the PS3, which will not feature some of the latest supercars but the C7 Corvette's making an appearance here because the C7 Corvette is a Gran Turismo-exclusive car and always will be until the blokes behind the game will change its mind when the time is right.

(audience laughing)

JM: Whoa there, paps. You're trying to be so grumpy about this car because what this is...is like why the Playstation3 version of THE IDOLM@STER 2 didn't featured the Punkish Gothic DLC costume what the XBOX 360 version had.

JC: Exactly...pretty soon, I shall demonstrate things that the Corvette C7 hate, starting with someone dressing in the not-allowed-for-PS3-version Punkish Gothic costume...

(audience laughing)

JC: Okay, some bad news, folks. Some bad news folks. It's straight from the ISLE OF MAN TT, which riders trying to set their times in one of the most grueling trials on two wheels. I just heard that a Japanese rider by the name of Yoshinari Matsushita, who was representing Tyco Suzuki, Team Mirai, and one who is riding the Hatsune Miku-liveried motorbike...

JM: He's riding a Miku-liveried bike? Can't believe why Hatsune Miku wants to be heavily involved in motorsports since the Super GT...

JC: Yes I know. Word from the press is that he was killed in a tragic crash during a qualifying session at the 2013 Isle of Man TT Races near Great Britain and Ireland. It was very sad and...our thoughts belong to him. God rest his soul...

(applause)

JC: Now, yesterday, over a hundred vintage cars and their drivers were gathered in China for the 5th Peking to Paris expedition.

RH: Peking to Paris?

JC: Peking to Paris. It's a 12,000 kilometre driving adventure where they have 33 days to cross from Peking to Paris, driving through some of the most faraway places in the world. 

JM: Hang on a minute, so the Peking to Paris adventure is where a bunch of vintage cars have 33 days to cross through some of the most remote places in the world. Starting line is in China, then cross through the Gobi Desert in Mongolia, then into Russia before crossing Eastern Europe, heading towards France. How come we never get invited?

JC: Uh...probably because we're going to make some havoc in our journey...

(audience laughing)

JC: I know, it's harsh but I always wanted to travel from Peking to Paris in a vintage car but sadly, we have no further experiences about the perils lurking through the 33-day expedition. We did lots and lots of expeditions during Christmas holidays such as Botswana, Bolivia, Vietnam, India and others but not in this one because we don't think we're capable of going from one country to another by four wheels.

(audience laughing)

JC: Now, Aston Martin launched their updated version of the V12 Vantage. Here it is...

2014 Aston Martin V12 Vantage S
(ooohh)

JC: It's called the V12 Vantage S. It's got this new V12 engine, power output is 573PS, 620Nm of torque, top speed of 205mph, equipped with 7-speed flappy-paddle gearbox, and James, I think this is much more better for you to drive this rather than the Vanquish.

JM: Why?

RH: Because it's the "ultimate" Aston Martin ever built! Well, not quite really because the 6-speed MT was been thrown away and replaced by a 7-speed AT, same situation happened to the 911 GT3, which is my favorite Porsche now with a flappy-paddle nonsense...

(audience laughing)

JC: Okay, some news. I found this rather clever article from an American website that they displayed the top ten brands that will soon be disappeared in 2014 because of their poor performance and I got the list so let's find out... (ahem)

1. J.C. Penney
2. Nook
3. Martha Stewart Living
4. LivingSocial
5. Volvo
6. Olympus
7. WNBA
8. Leap Wireless
9. Mitsubishi Motors
10. Road & Track

RH: Wait a minute...WNBA was on the list? Then J.C. Penney? Martha Stewart Living? Mitsubishi Motors? Volvo? What the...

JM: Well, it's actually just prediction of some of the most undervalued brands in America that will soon be leaving the country for good but hey, at least I'd never like shopping at J.C. Penney...

(audience laughing)

JC: Yeah. Actually, J.C. Penney is just one of the most rubbish department stores in America. I prefer Macy's instead because they sold better clothes than them...

(audience laughing)

JC: I nearly got killed myself finding the appropriate clothes to dress myself as Dipper.

(ooohhh)

RH: Dipper who?

JC: You know. Dipper. Dipper Pines. Gravity Falls.

(audience laughing)

RH: Geez... Mine, I'm not a JC Penney fan but I went for Hot Topic for some...well, Adventure Time stuff or Doctor Who stuff.

(audience laughing)

RH: Since Underground Toys will be releasing the Captain Jack Harkness figure next month, then the Doctor Who Series 7 figures in July, and then the Doctor Who Companions Set in the autumn of 2013, I sure hope that Hot Topic got that memo. This is the only store where I shop for all things Doctor Who...

JC: Okay, Richard. I agreed with you but aren't you getting bothered by some Adventure Time clothing and accessories, especially the shirt that says "Puncha Yo Buns"?

(audience laughing)

JC: Or even that Princess Bubblegum-inspired nail polish as sold in Hot Topic? Aren't you BOVERRED?

(audience laughing)

RH: Can you please shut your mouth or I'm gonna "Puncha yo buns"...BRANIAC Style!

(audience laughing)

JC: Brainiac? Oh wait, are you going to blow me up?

(audience laughing)

JM: Anyway, while we're letting Richard Hammond doing some BRAINIAC stuff on Clarkson, time to end the news with a little announcement because a couple of years ago, Disney asked the public what is the best Phineas and Ferb song of all time. I know. We watched the whole special where the top 10 Phineas and Ferb songs, most of it were listed to the official soundtrack of the hit TV show, and the best Phineas and Ferb song of all time was Gitchee Gitchee Goo. Anyone had this song stuck in your frontal lobes?

(audience murmuring)

JM: Anyway, Disney was once again back to ask the public for what is the "other" best Phineas and Ferb song of all time. There has been new entries, most were from Summer Belongs to You special and the Disney Channel Original Movie, Phineas and Ferb: Across the 2nd Dimension, competing to the number one spot which will be announced on the special episode this June 28 with special appearances by Kelly Osbourne as the host of the countdown. Anyway, we now had the winners for this round of "which is the best P&F song?" polls and these are...

a) There's a Platypus Controlling Me

MATCH UP #1: There's a Platypus Controlling Me vs. AGLET on Disney Video

b) AGLET

MATCH UP #1: There's a Platypus Controlling Me vs. AGLET on Disney Video

c) Summer Belongs to You

MATCH UP #2: Summer Belongs To You vs. Summer (Where Do We Begin?) on Disney Video

d) Summer (Where Do We Begin?)

MATCH UP #2: Summer Belongs to You vs. Summer (Where Do We Begin?) on Disney Video

e) Brand New Best Friend

MATCHUP #3: Brand New Best Friend vs. City of Love on Disney Video

f) City of Love

MATCHUP #3: Brand New Best Friend vs. City of Love on Disney Video

g) I'm Me

MATCH UP #4: I'm Me vs. Everything's Better With Perry on Disney Video

h) Everything's Better with Perry

MATCH UP #4: I'm Me vs. Everything's Better With Perry on Disney Video

Anyway, the polls are open this Friday and you decide which of your favorite song will make it on the next round of which is the best P&F song and the winning song will be showcased on Disney Channel this June 28.

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