JC: That's the most beautiful thing I have ever driven...
RH: You love this thing, don't ya?
JC: Yes! Precisely, that is the best-looking Aston Martin in ages.
RH: Yeah, I see where you're getting somewhere because...
JC: Because it sounds old-school, looks beautiful on the move, and savage if you are in for some fun and games. Brilliant. Anyway, let's do the news!
JM: Anyway, it seems that Wonder Woman travels around the world via an invisible jet but what if she need some wheels to race through the dangers and save the world alongside the Justice League? Guess what? Kia Motors made a ride for Wonder Woman and it's a Sportage R. Here it is...
 |
| Kia Sportage R Wonder Woman |
JM:...this car is part of Kia Motors collaborating with DC Comics for the We Can Be Heroes campaign, dedicated to fight poverty. Well, I think the Justice League-themed Kia cars are complete right about now...
RH: Really?
JM: Yeah, seems that the Justice League Kias have finally assembled. Batman has a K5, Green Lantern has a Soul, Cyborg has a Forte Hatchback, Aquaman has a Pride, The Flash has a Forte Koup, Superman has a K5 Hybrid, and now Wonder Woman has a Kia Sportage R. It's already full force!
JC: Yeah, tell you what? I think it's rubbish to see the Justice League driving in those stupid Korean cars...
(audience laughing)
JC: Yes. They're superheroes. They don't need those rubbish Korean cars. They can go wherever they want...Well, except Batman because he doesn't have powers, only gadgets.
(audience laughing)
RH: So, you're saying is Batman will drive only the K5?
(audience laughing)
JC: No. He has a Batmobile. He don't need this rubbish Kia K5, you know...
(audience laughing)
JC: Now, anyway, as we told, North Korea continues to make threats everyday, regarding their nukes. Guess what? I made this...it's called the North Korea threat detector-inator...
(audience laughing)
RH: Threat detector-inator? Why would you add the "inator" suffix on it? What is this?
JC: I don't know. But what it will do for me is to detect everyday threats that the North Korea can throw us at it...
(beeping)
JC: Oh! There's an upcoming threat! Oh no!
JM: What is it this time?
JC: It says...oh wait that was yesterday...It's about North Korea trying to restart a nuclear reactor at Nyongbyon that was disabled under a six-party agreement in 2007. This nuclear reactor was once extracting plutonium for nukes.
RH: Okay, Mr. Clarkson. What's today threat now? Yesterday, it said that the restart of the nuclear reactor is another one of NoKor's threats. So, what's today's threat now?
JC: Hang on a minute...it still says UPDATING...
(audience laughing)
JC: It takes time, I tell you. It takes time. When NoKor issues a threat against humanity, this North Korea threat detector-inator will ring me, okay? Arirang, NHK, BBC, CNN, or any other channels, they'll give me a call. They'll check out the latest threats from NoKor, just to be sure...
RH: Anyway, can we move on?
JC: Yes...Well, anyway, it's summer in the Philippines and everyone's going on vacation, even the kids after the end of the school year. People went to go on provinces, some go to other countries, others went shopping, etc...etc...etc...The list goes on and on until school starts this June. So, if you're a car nut, are you interested on this?
 |
| 2013 Manila International Auto Show |
RH: Uh no...
JM: No...
(audience laughing)
JC: Uh...me too. Not interested on this because there are so many carmakers backed out, especially ones who are members of AVID like Hyundai. But what's interesting here is that Russ Swift will be participating on that event showcasing some stunts in the brand new Subaru BRZ.
RH: Does this mean, there's going to be drifting involved in the BRZ?
(audience laughing)
JC: Not sure but Russ Swift can do better than that now that he's making a switch from the WRX STi to the Subaru BRZ for some unknown reasons but I think it's going to be quite exciting. I promise...
(cheers and applause)
JC: Now, interesting news because Hennessey Performance, the tuning company behind the wildly acclaimed Venom GT, made some headlines again because it set the fastest top speed for production vehicles. That's about 265.7MPH or 427.6 km/h.
JM: Wait a minute...wait a minute...Didn't the Veyron SuperSport claim that record because when I was in Germany, the folks at Bugatti maxed out at 267.8 mph. But how?
JC: Well, the Veyron SS did 267.8 mph of top speed but shocking fact is that Bugatti speed-limits its production vehicles to 258 mph. So that now, Hennessey claimed that record for the Venom GT's top speed.
RH: Those utter utter bastards...
(audience laughing)
RH: This is just like Steven Moffat messing up Doctor Who with some shocking plot twists that infuriate Whovians! Get it?
JM: I'll show those Hennessey bastards a lesson...
JC: Whoa! Whoa! Calm down. Calm down. Let's move on because while the Buick Encore (an Americanized version of the Opel/Vauxhall Mokka) is new because it was been on sale last quarter, there's a report that General Motors issued an recall on 144 Buick Encores from the 2013 model year because the steering wheel could come loose or separate from the steering column! In short, the steering wheel may come off!
RH: Whoa! Guess whoever bought a new Encore right about now might end up noticing about this recall, eh? It's like you're buying a car which then later the tires come off of the sunroof shattered or things get disintegrated quickly...
(audience laughing)
JC: I know. It's a weird move to recall such a brand new car like this. Well, anyway, that's the end of the news...
No comments:
Post a Comment