Friday, April 19, 2013

Let's Do The News! (April 19, 2013)

(cheers and applause)

JM: Okay, let's do the news!

JC: Right and anyway, I'd received this newsletter earlier on and it's from someone I'd never know. It says here that CISPA, the one that the Senate trashed it last year, has been passed on the House of Representatives.

(silence)

JC: No! I'm not joking, folks. It's true, CISPA has been passed by the House of Representatives. You heard the news, right?

RH: Uh...I think we really don't know about CISPA but what's that?

JC: Little man, don't you know? CISPA is a kind of act that turns the websites you love such as Google, Microsoft, or Facebook into government spies that unsuspecting traces your every move and that's annoying. Get it? That's annoying! It's like a lady undressing herself unsuspectingly been peeped by some Peeping Tom.

(audience laughing)

JC: I know, it's all boso-boso, but CISPA is definitely annoying! What would you do when CISPA becomes a law? Anybody?

(audience murmuring)

JC: That's exactly what you said! DON'T USE THE COMPUTER when CISPA becomes the law!

(audience laughing)

RH: Really? So you can't use Twitter, Facebook, Youtube, or other forms of social media because the Feds are keeping an eye on your move? Well, that's sound rubbish to me. I would rather do those things despite those.

JC: Well, fine for you little man.

(audience laughing)

JC: But still, even though CISPA has passed by the Senate, it's not yet been turned into law unless the US President has the power to either approve it or veto it. So, if he approves CISPA, then we're doomed and if we're not careful, we're barred.

(audience laughing)

JC: So, take note, Mr. President, please VETO the CISPA because netizens from around the world don't like this kind of thing because of privacy issues!

(audience laughing)

JM: Oh! Hey now! With a Doctor Who episode titled HIDE is fast approaching, I've heard that episodes 10, 11, and 12 for DW Series 7 has been named and here it is, look...







(wow)

JM: As you can see from those images about, it seems that next week involves on the TARDIS interior, next next week involves on...um...something...

(audience laughing)

JM:...and then the next next next week features a totally new look from the feared Cybermen. Come to look at it that I'm starting to like the new look of those Cybermen. Now they had this sort of glowing stuff on their chests. That's brilliant.

JC: Yeah, indeed brilliant take on one of The Doctor's oldest foe but you know what? I think it looks great to be a "collector's item" but sadly the blokes from Underground Toys had no plans to make those 2013 version of the Cybermen...

(audience laughing)

RH: Yeah, that's a shame for that. Always wanted to play one of those...

JC: Yeah, let yourself dream of having one...

(audience laughing)

(iPhone vibrating, Homer: Better them than me!)

JM: Uh...what's that?

JC: Oh, it says "Homer has finished Snake Hunt!"

(audience laughing)

RH: Oh, I see you're busy with your Simpsons gig on your iPhone eh? Typical...

(audience laughing)

RH: I know. I often get addicted to this Tapped Out city-building game and gets better because it released an Level 28 update featuring those mafia men, some new buildings and that's about it. Oh, there's still more of those Whacking Day stuff going on until next month.

JM: Whacking Day? Oh wait! I remember it now. You're too busy collecting snakes for limited edition items and how many snakes do you got as of now?

JC: Mine has...um...I think it's over a thousand and eight hundred snakes collected. Just two hundred more until I got myself a "snake rock" item in which for four hours, it hatches 10 snakes.

RH: Uh...okay...well good luck with the whacking day gig on The Simpsons, Jeremy....

(audience laughing)

RH: Now, anyway it seems that Dubai's Five-O had enlisted a new ride to catching up crims. Wanna guess what that car those Dubai rozzers get?

JC: Uh...wait, let me guess? Is it something Italian?

RH: Yes!

JC: Is it an Lambo?

RH: Correct! Here it is!

Dubai Police Lamborghini Aventador
(wow)

RH: And that's not all, it seems that the Dubai rozzers also got a Ferrari FF for a change!

Dubai Police Ferrari FF
RH: Guess those Dubai cops really know how to play a game of "Hot Pursuit" eh?

JC: Yeah, and those Italian supercars really make good interceptors on Dubai roads. I wonder if those can deploy spike strips on the move?

(audience laughing)

RH: Jeremy?

JC: Oh sorry. Must have played too much NFSMW on my way home.

(audience laughing)

JC: Now anyway, let me tell you a story, folks. Chaps, listen up. Now, everytime I scroll down every feed on Facebook, I often see everyone's statues, say what's going on in their community, sharing pics, so on, so forth. However, what I find it annoying what those stuff from Facebook that don't matter. Wanna guess what that is? Anyone?

(audience laughing)

JC: Whatever. What I find it annoying is when people shared pics that says "Like for Jesus, Share for Jesus, Scroll Down for Satan". What was that? What should I do?

(audience laughing)

JC: And then there was those things that don't matter like the thing that are relevant to daily life such as "This is how mom folds. This is how I fold", and then there's a pic that depicts those tags you can commonly see on your clothes, which is for washing instructions, and then "this is how it feels like" with some cactus on it. Also, there's this comparison between a man from the 80's and a man from today.

JM: What?

JC: You know? The man from the 80's is thin and has a small TV but the man of today has a big HD TV and a big tummy...Ahem...

(audience laughing)

JC: It seems most Facebook users often share some stuff that don't matter. If you're reading these, stop sharing such nonsense. Okay?

RH: What about those pics that most Facebook users share that makes you vomit?

(audience laughing)

JC: Well, I really don't wanna see those morons sharing pics that made me vomit uncontrollably.

(audience laughing)

JC: Anyway, that is the end of the news.

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