Let's Do The News! (April 14, 2013)

(cheers and applause)

2014 Acura RLX

JC: Really don't like this...really don't like this...

JM: Anyway, let's do the news!

JC: Anyway, Bugatti, a couple of weeks ago, they had lost the crown for the fastest car in the world because of technical reasons. Now, they've launched a new version of the Grand Sport Vitesse, it's called the WRC. Here it is...

Bugatti Veyron Grand Sport Vitesse WRC

JC: This is the car that set standards as the fastest open-top car in the world with a top speed of 408.84kph, which was set at VW's top secret facility at Ehra-Lessien.

JM: 408? Kph? That's about...

JC: 254 miles per hour.

JM: That's about less than the Supersport Veyron but to be honest, that was worth of try for Bugatti to claim the record as the world's fastest convertible ever made.

JC: Exactly. And, it will make appearances at the 2013 Shanghai Motor Show this April and it will be limited to 8 units, each costs 1.99 million euros, which sounds eye-watering if you know what I mean. And if you have that one and drove one of these at the German Autobahn, rest assured your face will peel off...

(audience laughing)

RH: Yeah, getting peeled off more than driving an Ariel Atom by yourself without an helmet...

(audience laughing)

JC: Anyway, last year's Fighter of the Year, Nonito Donaire, as I heard, he took a fight against Guillermo "Chacal" Rigondeaux.

RH: Okay...

JC: And he lost. Donaire lost the title to Rigondeaux. I know, very sad news for the Filipino boxer but at least the fight was fair and I think let's congratulate Donaire no mater what the result is...

(cheers and applause)

JC: Anyway, tomorrow's the celebration of North Korea's founder, Kim Il-Sing who was the father of Kim Jong-Il and the grandfather of current leader Kim Jong-Un. I was on alert on some ridiculous activity going on, regarding test firing missles at the sea and the threat that war occurs when Japan shoot down missles.

RH: On alert? How do you keep making tabs regarding tensions at the Korean peninsula?

JC: I told you...it's the North Korea threat detector-inator!

(audience laughing)

RH: THe NoKor threat detector-inator?

JC: Simple...when I'm noticing something fishy going around North Korea, this thing will trigger a device that says... (mimics Paw Pilot) SPECIAL ALERT! SPECIAL ALERT!

(audience laughing)

JM: So, when North Korea's making provocations, it would say (mimics Paw Pilot) SPECIAL ALERT! SPECIAL ALERT!

(audience laughing)

JM: You're going to make tabs on what's what. Kinda brilliant but rubbish idea though. We have BBC to cover up the North Korean crisis. We don't need your NoKor threat detector-inator thingy that you made up.

JC: Okay, okay...But...I had something interesting for me to tell you...

JM: What?

JC: Anyway, I went on the internet and I found this...

(audience laughing hysterically)

RH: Uh...okay. That's seem to be peculiar...

JC: I know, right? I know... Anyway, I found this, okay? There's an upcoming Date A Live PS3 video game coming up and what I heard that on this game, players can go beyond the “date,” and even see their love interest as a pregnant wife in the future after marriage. Wha...what's that?

(audience laughing)

JC: This is utter nonsense! A PS3 game based on an anime series and then it will feature "pregnancy endings?"

(audience laughing)

JM: Well, actually, it's going to be as weirder than other dating sim games I've encountered...

(audience laughing)

RH: Thanks for notifying, you jerk...

JC: Anyway, while I'm not interested on that game, why don't you try it for a chance and see which pregnancy ending fits you...

(audience laughing)

JM: Huh? Why would I do that?

JC: You said you like dating sims so I think you might be interested on it.

JM: No, I'm not!

(audience laughing)

JC: Well, never mind about that. Anyway, that is the end of the news and by tomorrow, I shall be on duty on North Korea's celebratory suspicion.

RH: And then...let Paw Pilot tell you "Special Alert" when noticed...

(audience laughing)