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| Castlevania - Lords of Shadow - Sadama no Makyou (Mirror of Fate) |
JM: Hmmm....you're not quite pleased about this, eh?
JC: Um...yeah. I'm not kinda fond of portable games but I think this game needs a bit of refinement and a bit of drama to thrill fans. Sadly though, I think it's not the kind of Castlevania that tickles my fancies. Guess I have to wait until Konami and MercuryStream finished with the Lords of Shadow sequel rather than playing this game for hours until I beaten it...
JM: Really? But on your way home, I bet that you're going to finish it even in the hardest part of the game and then you'll stop...
(audience laughing)
JC: Yeah, right. You got me. Anyway, we will do the news right about now...
RH: Exactly and ever since we've tackled the Mirror of Fate 3DS game, Konami collaborated with Diamond Dining for the special Vampire Cafe to promote the Mirror of Fate 3DS game with some special menus themed after the game. Check it out...
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| Vampire Cafe |
(wow)
RH: This is the special Vampire Cafe menu from Diamond Dining and look at those, they're all themed after the Castlevania heroes. Those menus are available up to April 30, 2013. So, what can you say, folks?
JC: Well, those drinks themed after Trevor and Simon were my pick and also this meal themed after Gabriel but that meal themed after Alucard, it looks kinda weird. I really don't know what sort of people trying to make a meal themed after a vampire who waged a battle against his father. I mean look at this meal, it feels like it's been served by vampires on last year's Halloween...
(audience laughing)
RH: Exactly, Jezza. It is a vampire-themed meal themed after a vampire. So, what's to compromise about this meal anyway?
JM: Well, why don't you head to Diamond Dining and taste this Alucard-themed meal by yourself?
JC: Oh, come on...I mean if I was that Gordon effing Ramsay going to that place and look at this meal, I would melt myself down and choke the blokes who made it, just as when Renaldo Balkman got banned for grabbing Arwind Santos' neck...
(audience laughing)
JM: I'll make you worth a while...
JC: Okay! Okay! Deal! I'll go and taste it. When I die, you stay away from the funeral...
(audience laughing)
JC: Anyway, I just found something on the internet and it seems Ford India took some drastic measures to advertise their made-in-India compact car and care to guess what they did? Take a look...
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| Ford sexist print ad |
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| Ford sexist print ad |
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| Ford sexist print ad |
(audience laughing hysterically)
RH: What...the...fudge?!
JM: Son of a bee sting!!!
JC: Yep, it's those controversial print ads from Ford India which involves celebrity bondage and a slogan that goes "Leave Your Worries Behind". In here, we can see former Italian PM Silvio Berlusconi holding hostage three buxom and barely clad women, all wearing ball gags with hands and feet bound...
(audience laughing)
JC: ...then, the other ad sees Paris Hilton kidnapping the Kardashians...
(audience laughing)
JC: ...and finally, Michael Schumacher kidnapping Sebastian Vettel, Fernando Alonso, and Lewis Hamilton...
(audience laughing)
JC: Don't know why that caused so much controversy but I think I like those print ads. Imagine if I was on that ad, I would rather kidnap you two and the Stig on the boot...
(audience laughing)
RH: What?!
JC: Don't know...Social experimentation...to keep you away from you two blabbering about my tastes...
(audience laughing)
RH: Why don't if this was me, kidnapping you, Slow, and Stig also...
(audience laughing)
JC: Okay, now you making me melt down...Why you little!!!
(audience laughing)
JC: Come back here, you little rascal!! Come back here and I'm gonna do what Renaldo Balkman do to his teammate!!!
RH: And then what? You gonna get a lifetime ban?
(audience laughing)
JC: I don't care if I have a lifetime ban or not. What matters most is I'm gonna kick your butt like what Jason Francisco did to John Prats for calling him a big head!!!
(audience laughing)
JM: Guys! Guys! Guys! Would you please stop the fudge up or I'll grab both of your necks and kick your butt?
(audience laughing)
JM: You don't know what I'm capable of but I know jujitsu, aikido, karate, taekwondo, and other martial arts...
(audience laughing)
JM: I'm a black belt of almost anything!!!
JC: Ahem, are you a black belt on all of those or are you just wearing your leather belt?
(audience laughing)
JM: Okay, maybe I'm not a black belt on any kind of martial arts. If you two don't shut up, I would rather bring you to some girls to the convention dressed as the girls from the Tekken series...
RH: And then what?
JM: Crush your bones off...
(audience laughing)
JC: Oh dear, I don't wanna get fractured by some girl who dressed as her favorite Tekken femme fatale...
RH: Me too...Especially when someone dressed as Lili because this really leave me some fractures...
(audience laughing)
JM: Good...Care to move on?
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| The Doctor and Clara in a cover of Entertainment magazine |
JC: Okay. Now, because we see the prologue to next week's Doctor Who and its trailer for the episode titled "The Bells of Saint John", we are excitment about the return of The Eleventh Doctor, now on his new costume, as well as his brand new partner Clara Oswald, the souffle girl who was once Oswin Oswald from the Dalek Asylum and then Clara Oswin Oswald from the Victorian London in last year's Snowmen special...
(audience laughing)
JC: Anyway, what puzzles me is...why the name Clara?
(audience laughing)
RH: Well, Jeremy, looks like you finally asked that question after months of speculation. Seriously, why the name Clara? Perhaps they should have call it Mara. Not Clara...
(audience laughing)
JM: If can interrupt, Hammond, but there was a Mara on Doctor Who...
RH: Really? There's a Mara in Doctor Who?
JM: Yes, and for those people under 75 or 65, bear with us because The Mara was once in a classic Doctor Who.
JC: Classic Who?
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| The snake possesed by The Mara |
JM: The Mara was a malevolent force who was made from the planet of Manussa and used as an instrument of terror but when things went wrong, the Manussans got rid of the Mara. It's a parasite who eats fear to survive and hopping from brain to brain alhtough it even showed up as an snake in other classic Who episodes...
RH: So in short, The Mara is a malevolent parasite who has no form but capable of controlling other people or creature's minds. Really? Well that explains anything...
JC: I was just thinking that it can be Kathryn Bernardo being possessed by the Mara because she's Mara and that Clara's not Jenna Louise Coleman. It's Julia Montes...
(audience laughing hysterically)
JC: Get it?
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| Mara Clara |
(Mara Clara theme song playing)
(audience laughing)
RH: Good idea, Clarkson! Kathryn can be a Mara while Julia's the Clara! This is great drama! Look at the f***s we give! I mean yes really! Mara Clara in the world of Doctor Who!!!
(audience laughing)
JC: I'll be Clara, you'll be Mara.
RH: Aww...why does it have to be me?
JC: Come on! I always want to be possessed by The Clara while you'll get The Mara...
(audience laughing)
RH: No, Jeremy! I don't wanna be Mara. I wanna be Clara so I can grab and slap the heck out of you!
JC: Hey!
(audience laughing)
JM: Anyway, while Jeremy and Richard is making a mess about the whole Mara Clara stuff, that's the end of the news, folks...
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