The All-New Range Rover (L405)

2013 Land Rover Range Rover

At long last, after a decade of having the previous incarnation been with us for too long, a full-model change occurred in one of Britain's legendary luxury sport utility vehicle that combines the ruggedness of an offroader while offering preimum luxury of a premium sedan. That ladies and gents, say hello to the All-New Range Rover.Yes, really, this is the all new model. Not the same old model ten years ago.

So, what to expect on the All-New Range Rover? Well, you can expect a host of different engine types available on this new model such as the supercharged 5.0L V8 that you'll find it on the Jaguar XKR, 4.4 SDV8 diesel, and the 3.0L TDV6 diesel engine, all mated to an 8-speed gearbox, which sounds too much for a transmission made by the Germans. 8 gears is like, overdoing the whole litro of your favorite softdrink or overstuffing your clothes in one Space Bag, waiting to be vacuumed. I know it's a bit too much for that kind of gizmo but something's good about this new model...

2013 Land Rover Range Rover interior

While the exterior is no different from the previous model, the interior is a bit more like its little brother, the Evoque, but with some added posh-ness. Imagine if Lord Alan Sugar wants to ride one of those...

Anyway, this new model sure comes in handy for those who are ruling a nation with an iron fist and if I mean iron fist, it's someone who wears a gauntlet. Heh, iron fist....gauntlet....sounds synonymous to me. The thing about this all new Range Rover though is the way it feels because in the past, the Range Rover is made to be somewhat as chunkier as a can of Chunkee Corned Beef. When a corned beef's getting chunkier, it gets even meatier than a normal corned beef and with some added minced potatoes, it looks even more scrumptious. For this new Range Rover though, no corned beef, no crispy pata, no tocino, no ham, no meaty-related nonsense here because what they did there is a bit of liposuction. Nope, not the fat-sucking procedure that most ladies want, it's the use of an all-aluminium monocoque structure that blessed it a reduction of 420 kg (925.9 lb) compared to the outgoing model. So, where does weight goes into?

Well, with a massive weight loss, this feels like a teenage girl went on a binge spree. And with all that binge leads to something...they made it quicker, more agile, and by a chance, more economical. It's no longer a gas-guzzling monster that needs to be put with some Apollo 11-esque experiment on the exhaust that makes zero emissions. Well, that would be timey-wimey but the figures suggest that with the supercharged V8 model, this will lead to 60mph in about 5.1 seconds while the one with the 3.0 TDV6 promises a combined fuel consumption of 37.7MPG. Whoa, turns out that the one with the 3.0L TDV6 engine is proven to be much more economical and its recommended for those who can't afford petrol due to the ongoing crisis.

2013 Land Rover Range Rover

Because Range Rovers are on an active duty when they're offroad, they have a majestic presence, something that its rivals can't do but for an all new Range Rover, it has various gizmos that can adjust the height, change driving response on certain road conditions, and so much more. It even has a new version of Terrain Response system so mastering the most unforgiving roads would be a breeze. Imagine if a Jaguar XJ is toughened up the Mad Max way so it can get through the most punishing desert roads no one can ever survive.

I mean hey, this all new Range Rover is like a Jaguar XJ with some added toughness. Imagine if this is the British Prime Minister's new ride, I'm sure this guy sure knows how to rule Britannia with an iron fist. RULE BRITANNIA! Whoa, sorry about that. This is just whimsical idiot stuff for me. Anyway, as for the pricing, you'll be in a lot of trouble because with prices start at £71,295 to £98,395 and with loads of options and accessories at your command, it's going to be near-Rolls Royce money for that matter but in the name of Solihull, the Range Rover is the last word for ruggedness meets luxuriousness. Only the rich and powerful are welcomed to be indulged with it. Rich and powerful...

You got to love this all new Range Rover. Thanks to its massive weight loss, powerful engines, powerful design, powerful interior, and everything that puts the power in you, you are worthy of dominating every road that steps in your way.

Available Colors: Fuji White, Siberian Silver, Indus Silver, Luxor, Orkney Grey, Nara Bronze, Causeway Grey, Firenze Red, Aintree Green, Baltic Blue, Santorini Black, Mariana Black, Barossa, Havana. and Barolo Black.

Additional Colors coming in Summer 2013: Valloire White Pearl, Borealis Black, Ligurian Black, Piemonte Black, Bardolino Red, Roma Red, Bering Grey, Paris Blue, Balmoral Blue, Antilles Blue, Verbier Silver, British Racing Green, Stanhope Grey, London Gold, Calama Copper, Madagascar Orange, Spectral Red, Spectral Blue, Spectral Green, Spectral Amver, Spectral Light Blue, Spectral Lime.

Photo: Jaguar Land Rover