Mercedes-Benz GL 63 AMG (X166)

2013 Mercedes-Benz GL63 AMG

Hello, what's this? A high-performance SUV? This is not just a high-performance utility vehicle, it can be somewhat be, and excuse me for the RR analogies we're using, a Bass Cruiser. I'm using that term to describe a sports utility vehicle that was once used for offroad practicality turned into a very dynamic performance utility vehicle. I don't mean that Cayenne because it's not suitable to be a Bass Cruiser because it's a bit slop-sided for me to classify it, what I'm checking here is the first ever GL63 AMG, the high performance version of the latest version of the GL-Class X166.

Seems that the producers got a bit of a rush about my word regarding the Bass Cruiser stuff because to me, I think of a SUV spiced and beefed up for racing performance in mind but forget about that because the GL63 AMG feels more of a Bass Cruiser rather than being a heavy rhinoceros in business attire with running shoes and ahem, no time for Judoon stuff. Don't know? It's from DW, Judoon are a bunch of aliens who look like rhinos but they're like law enforcers. Anyway, no time for some wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey stuff, because what I'm speaking is that this new GL63 AMG may look like well you get the idea but when you listen to the noise of the M157 5.5L V8 twin-turbo engine, the kind of engine you may expect on most AMG models, especially the SLS AMG GT, that changes everything. From its revs to acceleration, the M157 engine planted on the GL63 AMG really sounds nasty, VERY VERY nasty. That sound fits perfect for a high-performance SUV that was been made to crush down everyone who stands in its way.

0-100kph is under five seconds and top speed normally limited to 250kph while mated with the AMG Speedshift Plus 7G-Tronic. It maybe heavier than any other serious performance utility vehicles, it maybe thirstier, it maybe trickier to drive, but it's still a massive wonder that you can be indulged for minutes, not days.

Price? That's pricey-wicey if I'm asking. It costs 130,305 Euros and that's about less expensive than the upcoming Porsche Cayenne Turbo S but because it's heavier, I would go for that turbocharged Porsche Cayenne which is, I'm afraid, a bit as ugly as the fly's metamorphosis. For a heavy but shouty beast like this, I think the GL63 is definitely a bass cruiser set to be almost a dynamic monster. If you were driving one of these in the richest cities in the world, people think that you're...um...well I was gonna say something something but I think I'll end this case here.

Photo: Mercedes-Benz