Alpha Bert and Letterman stops the suicidal!

A woman calls the help of Alpha Bert (Jobert) and Letterman (Jason Francisco) because her Tsong is about to kill himself. They rushed on the man who is about to kill himself with a LUBID! To stop this, Letterman turns LUBID into TUBIG. That TUBIG idea wasn't such a good idea because the man can kill himself by drowning on the TUBIG. Time for Alpha Bert to turn the TUBIG into TUBO. Looks like the TUBO idea didn't work too because this man can kill himself with the TUBO. How about Letterman turn TUBO into UBO?

UBO!

Weird but life-saving! The man can't kill himself with UBO! All done!

ANG TV PATROL TEXT JOKE:

Babae: Dok, akala ko ba'y effective ang calendar method para 'di mabuntis, eh bakit nabuntis ako?

Doktor: Bakit? Paano mong ginamit ang kalendaryo?

Babae: Ginamit naming banig!

HORO-SCOOP WITH ZENAIDA SEBO (JOBERT):

Ophiuchus - Sa mga nagtataka...ito ang 13th sign na natuklasan noong bagong taon 2011. Ang inyong kapalaran...WALA...Hindi kayo mapalad dahil lahat ng manghuhula hindi naniniwala sa Zodiac sign na ito. Ang payo ko...bumalik na lang kayo sa dati ninyong zodiac sign para makatanggap muli ng Horoscoop kay Zenaida Sebo.

Bukas, ang mananalo sa Santa Ana ay isang kabayo...